On judging motivation

My old self would sort of hate me right now.

She would hate me for checking out a "diet" book from the library. She'd hate me for thumbing through it on the drive to Cincinnati. She'd hate me for considering the plan.

She'd hate me because she didn't appreciate my motivation. To her, trying to lose 5 or 10 pounds to look better or run faster wasn't a good enough precipitous to hop on the wagon and hold steady through the holidays. To her, the only people who should be thumbing through diet books and grasping for change were those who needed and not those who merely wanted to. With a clothing size in the single digits, to her, I would not get to say "I needed to lose weight." I needed to be content.

Note: I do not think I need to lose weight as I am within the healthy weight range for my height. However, I'd like to get a pair of winter pants from storage without that "Oh fuck, will they fit?" pang in my stomach. 

I was thinking of this as I drove to work with Dr. Ian Smith's "Shred" on the passenger seat, scraps of paper bookmarking pages of interest. I had borrowed the book after getting curious about Dolvett Quince's new book, "The 3-1-2-1 Diet," which led me to Amazon reviews, which suggested Dr. Ian Smith, which ... well, you get the picture.

I was thinking about why others think it's OK to decide whether someone should do something seemingly beneficial for themselves and whether they have "good enough" motivation.

For instance, I was chatting with my aunt over Thanksgiving. My aunt is incredibly adorable - funny, nice and just plain cute. She's one of those people who has always been thin, though, I'll be honest, I have no idea whether or not she works for it. A few years back, a friend of hers was joining a women's only gym in an effort to lose weight and my aunt decided to go as well. She figured it would be a good way to support her friend and the exercise wouldn't hurt either. The ladies in the club, however, weren't so sure. She didn't have to be there ... so why was she?

My aunt heard it time and time again. So much so that she vowed that the next time a comment was made, she would tell them a harrowing tale of weight loss. The next time she was there, sure enough, her interest was called out. She told the person that she'd lost 100 pounds and was working to keep it off. To my aunt's surprise, the commentator's tune changed - applauding her for her accomplishment and continued hard work.

Interesting, eh?

While I don't advocate lying, I do find it interesting that others find it more permissible for people to work toward goals - eating better, exercise, weight loss - based on their perceptions of what's acceptable rather than what's healthy. As long as we are doing it for our own reasons, the specifics shouldn't matter.

And that's what I have to say about that.

Just do it

It's amazing the difference a few days makes - especially in the Midwest.

On Monday, I was more than excited to run. From the moment I left work to preparing dinner to playing blocks, I was counting the minutes till Miles went to bed and when I could lace up my shoes. I know a lot of it was the novelty of running in shorts and a tank in December but regardless, I couldn't wait to be out there.

Last night, Thursday, I had planned to run. But I was tired. I was cranky (and had been most of the day). Work didn't go well, and I left a smidge later than I preferred because of a last-minute problem. Dinner sat heavy in my stomach, and the idea of lying on the couch seemed so inviting. Instead of counting the minutes until Miles went to bed, I was counting the minutes until I could go to bed.

But at 7:05, just after I was sure Miles was down, I took Denali by the leash and stepped out for what ended up being a soothingly slow run.

So what made me get out? A few things.

Dress the part. While Mark bathed Miles, I slipped into my tights and shirt. Putting on your workout clothes is half the battle, and I knew if I was dressed for a run that I was more likely to go. I mean, how silly would it be to watch "Big Bang Theory" in a sweat-free pair of Pearl Izumi tights and a YMX top? Very, I think. Even worse, I would have felt ridiculously guilty lying on the couch wearing running gear if I had no intentions of running.

Compromise. I am not running on any particular plan and with very loose goals. I try to run four times a week, with midweek runs between 3 and 4 miles and a weekend run of 6 miles. I ran just shy of 4 on Monday and had planned to do the same. Instead, I told myself I could go out for 2 miles. I'm not sure when I last ran "just" 2 miles, and I knew if I got out there that I'd probably stay for at least 3.

Denali. He's a pain, especially when he doesn't get exercise. A few miles would do him some good and help make him more docile the rest of the night.

Running buds. I don't have any pals to run with in my neighborhood but I have lots of virtual friends. Well, maybe not lots but whatever. I checked Daily Mile and saw what everyone else had done that day, what they had battled, and I figured if they did it, so could I.

Updated thanks to a reminder from Kim:
By a strand. It's usually a good idea to shower after a run. Usually. Running would mean that I would need to shower at night and showering at night would mean that I'd have ready-to-be-styled hair in the morning. (Aka - I might not look like a hot mess at work.)

Committed. And I don't mean to an institution though that might provide me with some much needed down time. Anyway, I had made a promise to myself that I would run and I don't break promises - especially the ones I make to myself. I knew I would be disappointed if I didn't just even attempt a run.

So I did. And my mood was 38 times better for it.

What gets you out the door?

Push it, push it real good

Motivation!

It screamed at me from the cover of Runner's World. The magazine had the key, 9 actually, to get me out there pounding the pavement. The writer suggested things like thinking positive, joining up with friends and doing workouts you love.

What can I say? Predictable, predictable, predictable.

You need real motivation to run.

Personal hygiene. Gross as it may seem, I try to avoid hair washing daily at all costs. It's taken a while to "train" it that way but I'm finally there and my scalp thanks me. I washed my hair yesterday, and I need to shower tonight because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. If I'm going to have to go to all the effort of washing my hair and such, I might as well get my time's worth by sweating it up beforehand. Rain or not, I'll be running 4.5 miles.

Pre-track your workout. I do this a lot with strength/cross training. If I know I should workout, I mark that I've done so on MyFitnessPal. I'm less likely to skip it because going back and removing it blows chunks.

A decent race time. My average pace for my 8 miles at RnR NOLA was 9:09. Do you know what that means? And if you say that I missed running sub-9, I might hit you. A 9:09 average is just what I would need to run to get a sub-2 finish at the Martian half-marathon next month. I know it's not what I've been training for and it would have to come down to perfect race conditions but that number was all that I could think about yesterday. It was that number that motivated me to do my interval workout even though I had the stroller. I had 7x400 on tap and though I didn't do the prescribed workout, I did 1:30 hard followed by 2 minutes easier for 7 or 8 times during my 4-mile run.  It might have been that 9:09 that pushed me to one of my fastest stroller miles ever - 8:55. (Thanks MOTOACTV for letting me check my stats online on Mark's computer. Booyah!)

Double the fun. We can all go out and sign up for a 5K and "stick" to training plan. But come race day, we can dial it in just because. Well, when you have someone else depending on you, it's a whole lot different. I know I ran harder in NOLA because I didn't want to disappoint my friend and I know she trained and ran harder for the same reason.

Chocolate milk ... or beer. When Pattie and I were walking back to the shuttle, we were trying to be good runners and cheer on those who were heading toward the finish line. I started shouting that they were just a few strides away from chocolate milk (the best ever recovery drink if you ask me). And the Pattie started with the two beers because, well, there were two beers. It's probably not all that amusing to you but I can assure you that we thought we were being funny helpful. On a hotter by the minute day, who wouldn't run for beer or chocolate milk? I know I shouldn't advocate caloric reward for sweat but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Do you have an unconventional way of motivating yourself?

W.O.W.: Getting started

Time.

It's amazing how it just slips away.

One minute, you're looking at a day (off) full of possibilities and the next minute you realize it's time to pick up the behb from day care. You aren't any more rested, the house isn't any cleaner and dinner isn't made. In fact, it seems that the only thing you have to show for yourself is a stack of homemade baby invitations.

Apparently invitations take 55 hours to do, and they are the precise reason I didn't write my W.O.W. post on my motivation at the start of my weight loss journey. I hope you don't mind if I give it to you now. (#twss)

If you have read my weight loss story, you know that I didn't just decide to lose weight and - BAM! - x amount of time later, I weighed 122 pounds. No. It took a long time, with a lot of up and downs. Along the way, there were a lot of things that motivated me to start, restart and to get serious. I'm going to talk about the moment (moments, really) that helped me get to the track in August 2009 and stay there.

My mom's death. As I've shared in the Woman's Day/Yahoo! story, watching my mom die - not just the moment she took her last breath - but the years of seeing her destroy herself, made me look at the way I was treating my body and myself. I was so mad at her for not caring enough about herself (and me to be honest) to do something. As I worked through those feelings, I realized that I had no right to them if I wasn't willing to do something.

However, as a commenter pointed out, having someone in your life to be an example of what NOT to do is not enough. If it was, I probably would have never let myself get to 245 pounds. There were other things - almost a perfect storm, if you will - to get me going.

Getting the picture. In my weight loss journey, I lost 50 pounds then another 25. Those 25 pounds were lost and regained through three cycles, the last loss cycle just before my wedding in December 2008.

When my mom died, I was under the delusion that I was looking good and far better off than she ever was.

And then I saw photos from a girls' weekend in Chicago. Not only did I not look good, I looked big. I tried to blame it on camera angles and unflattering clothes but there's no denying that my weight had crept up. I had to ask myself whether the person in those photos was who I wanted to be.

Buddy system. I mentioned it in my previous post by my BFF joined Weight Watchers just before I did. The program really clicked for her, and she was able to give me an example of what to do and what I could be.

Support system. Also, in that vein, it's important to surround yourself with people who will encourage the changes you make. I mean no offense by the following but you tend to surround yourself with people most like you. If you are fit and active, your friends are fit and active. If you are sedentary and unhealthy, your friends are more than likely the same. It's important to reach out to those - without alienating your friends - who will encourage you. Mark, a lifelong runner, joined me for my Couch to 5K runs and never grumbled about going slow with me.

Again, with the dog. Mark and I inherited Denali so to speak from my mom, and we brought him home in late July. I wanted so desperately to be a good dog owner, and I knew a key to that was exercising our Siberian husky. I also knew that it couldn't be just something I did when it was nice. Come rain, come sun, come snow - Denali would want to go out. I made it my goal to be able to run a 5K by winter as I knew running 3 miles would be less painful than walking 3.

Breaking it down. I never looked at the big picture when I started. With Weight Watchers, it was about losing 5 percent, then 10 percent. I then looked to getting in the 160s, where I had never been, and down "decade" by "decade." It would have been hard for me to be successful otherwise because I would have felt overwhelmed.

Exploring. It can feel limiting to take on a new lifestyle/diet. The things you like to eat might not fit into your program. I really went outside my comfort zone and tried things like vegetarian patties, faux sausage and low-carb tortillas. I searched for WW friendly recipes and heeded suggestions from members. Slowly, I began to find new tastes and textures that appealed to me and helped to bring excitement to planning my menu.

Splurge. Living healthfully can be expensive, and it was easy for me not to buy the things I needed to be successful. However, if you want to order a crap ton of VitaTops to help you stay on track, do it. If you need Laughing Cow wedges for a wrap but they aren't on sale, buy them anyway. You'll be motivated to eat better if you have not only what you need but what you want.

In it to win it. I am not sure how or why but so much of my success is because I decided that I was worth it and made the changes. I would no longer accept that I was just meant to be overweight. I would no longer sell myself short. I would treat myself how I wanted to be treated - with love and respect - and take action to do so.

Are you a weight loss success? What can you share with others?

W.O.W.: Staying motivated

44 degrees. At 6 a.m. This morning. January 31.

Days like today are made for running. Even though I didn't have any miles on tap because parent-teacher conferences are shaking up my schedule, I found myself digging out the capris and lacing up my sneakers. It would be a shame to squander such a gift, I thought to myself.

Not every day is like today, where I find myself genuinely excited to run and so antsy to get out there that I can't even wait until Mark leaves for work. There are days I have to fight like hell to live the life I've created. The life I want to live.

When I went through the comments for Words of Wisdom (W.O.W.) week, I was surprised to see just how many were related to motivation. You wanted to know how I got motivated and stay motivated. You wanted the key.

The truth is: I’m not sure I have one. It's just that I've assembled a powerful arsenal, if you will, to keep me going.  

Fear. No matter how much I’ve tried, I cannot shake the fat girl. I worry that I will gain back the weight I lost or slip in terms of eating and exercise. I don’t want to lose who I have become and the pride I feel in her just because “I don’t feel like it” or “I can’t take it anymore.” When I was training for my first half marathon, I was so scared that I wouldn't finish that I wouldn't dare run even tenth of a mile less than the plan dictated.

Accountability. It’s not so much about motivation but learning to be accountable to yourself. If I choose not to work out, it is me making the decision. If I order a large chocolate malt, it’s my decision. And to flip that reasoning on the side, it’s not Mother Nature dropping a thunderstorm on your area the day of a run just to ruin your run. Your husband wasn’t acting like an asshole so you’d eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. OK. Maybe he was but then he wasn’t acting like an asshole – he is an asshole (another topic all together).

Passion. I personally like to run. I like the challenge, seeing myself get better and the structure of a training plan. If someone told me that the only way to lose weight was to swim, I’d be a million pounds because swimming is very often a suckfest for me.

  

Tangible ways to measure success. For the past two years, I have tracked nearly every mile and recorded my pace in an Excel spreadsheet. It's not only useful for training purposes but for motivation. When I get down on myself for not running the way I did pre-Miles, I can look back and see how far I've come since my first brutal post-baby run. Carrie just posted about being frustrated with the scale and then saw a pleasant surprise when she took her measurements. This works, too, with a weight tracker. You might have had a bad week but how has the scale looked over the course of a month?

Treat yourself. And don't forget to celebrate the gains you see when tracking. There's nothing like new gear to make you want to workout.My very generous BFF sent me a pair of running sleeves and a running skirt for Christmas, and I've been dying to wear them ever since. This morning's mild weather was just what I needed to try them out. On the other side of things, I remember the first time I tried a pair of size 10 jeans and they fit. A new pair of jeans was just what I needed in the middle of my journey.

Friendly competition. Enlist a friend in your efforts … and then try to beat her. When BFF and I were doing WW, and her success helped motivate me to do what I needed. The desire to beat her at the weigh-in (sorry, love) helped motivate me to do more. I find the same thing in terms of running. I have a co-worker who is a lifelong runner and goes out 5 to 6 days a week. On the days he runs, he will walk past me and quote his mileage. I love being able to “one up” him.

An annoying dog. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: the thought of wearing the crap out of Denali is enough to make me want to run a marathon some mornings.

Set new goals. Maybe you wanted to run 3 miles and now you can. Think about running a 10K. Maybe you have hit your goal weight. Think about toning or taking on a new workout challenge or lifting more weights. After running my second half marathon, I set a goal to run a third and do it in less than 2 hours. Always having something to work toward gives me a reason to keep going.

If all else fails, give yourself a good talking to. I was reading Runner's World in the bath after my run this morning, and I was struck by something Kate Gosselin said. The mother of 8, who was this month's "I'm a Runner" feature, said, "If I say to myself, 'I don't feel like running today,' I'll say out loud, 'Are you a quitter? No. Are you a champion? Yes! Then why are you thinking about quitting? I'm not.' I'll say this over and over."

What are your tricks for staying motivated?

Tomorrow: How I got motivated.

Diaries of a preggo exerciser: Motivation

Workout: 25 minutes stationary bike, 20 minutes elliptical and 1-mile stroll (not walk) with Denali

I woke up at 6:05 in the middle of a dream about euthanasia, Taylor Lautner, vampires, vampires eating people and my father-in-law holding the vials of anti-venom to keep vampires from eating people.

Welcome to pregnancy, my friends. Welcome.

Despite my strange nocturnal shenanigans, I felt rested. I wasn’t necessarily energetic or enthusiastic about the day but I was rested. I got up, went to the “little room” and took my prenatal vitamin. And then, in a snap decision, I put on the workout gear that I had laid out last before. Energy and case of the Mondays be damned – I was going to the gym.

And so I did. And because I did (and my workout was just that – a workout), I’m going to talk a little bit about how I stay motivated to workout during pregnancy.

Self esteem. First and foremost, I know that if I workout – even just a little bit – that I will feel better about myself. I don’t like the feeling of being lazy or sitting around for too many days in a row.

Normalcy. From the hormones to the changing body to the frequent doctor visits, it’s hard to feel like yourself, the healthy self you knew preconception. Breaking a sweat, logging miles, lifting a weight reminds you that you are still you. Even if everyone now calls you mom and asks about the baby before asking about you, you are still you for that time on the trail or on the bike.

The big “D.” It should come as no surprise that Denali bugs the heck out of me motivates me to exercise. If all I manage to do is walk him, it’s still a couple miles and a good 40 minutes on my feet  … and a few hours of sanity saved.

Being an example. Sometimes, when I feel really unmotivated, I think about how I want my child to see me and the stories that I want to tell him. I want to tell him that I ran into the third trimester. I want him to see me as the cool, fit mom. I want to do things that inspire him, make him proud of his mom.

Post partum. Size 2 pants, running (not power walking) the 4-mile Fort-4-Fitness course and my BOB Ironman stroller – working out now will make all of those things more possible and more fun in 6 months.

2012. When things start to seem discouraging, I think of one thing: 2012. October 2012. My comeback. Next year, in October, I plan to run the Chicago marathon – my first. I think about training for the race, running through Lincoln Park, Mark and baby boy cheering for me. Each run now, each workout now, will make it that much easier to achieve great things then.

Healthy mom, healthy baby. While I hate to admit that these perks are not immediate motivation, it does make me feel good to know that exercise is doing both of us some good. According to BeFit-Mom, “fit women experience easier adaptation to the lower-intensity endurance activity of early labor; shorter first and second stages of labor; enhanced pain tolerance; increased stamina for labor and delivery, with less perceived exertion during labor; lower incidences of intervention during labor; substantially fewer caesarian births; and good pelvic muscle tone-resulting in fewer episiotomies/tearing. … Also, fit moms give birth to leaner, stronger, healthier, and even smarter babies, who may even have better motor-functioning, cardiovascular capacity, with a greatly reduced risk for developing obesity, diabetes, and other related health challenges as adults.”

Besides the perk of the the whole shorter labor, smaller size baby thing to get you going, this list isn’t too different from a list I would have made 25 weeks ago. I ran to feel good about myself; I ran to feel normal or get some “me” time (always the perk of a solo tempo run); Denali always wanted to go; new pants were always nice; and a big race was always a goal.

What motivates you to exercise? Let me know, and I can post the suggestions later in the week.

Keeping your mojo

SUNDAY
Pre-workout fuel: Healthy Valley Organic granola bar and cinnamon roast coffee
Workout: Ran 6.23 miles in 58 minutes, 45 seconds; average pace, 9:26.

TODAY/MONDAY
Pre-workout fuel: 1/2 slice wheat toast pre-yoga, bowl of cereal post-yoga
Workout: 30 minutes yoga, 2-mile walk with dog, 30 minutes "No More Trouble Zones"

I was combing through my e-mail as I sipped my morning latte when a message/newsletter from Fitness Magazine caught my eye.

"Never Miss a Workout Again," the subject line said. While I am pretty good at guilting myself into a workout if I feel like I want to skip it, I am always looking for ways to keep myself motivated. Maintain the mojo. The article advised readers of seven habits of effective exercisers:

• Don't put away your gear.
• Turn your commute into a workout.
• Invest in more workout clothes.
• Log your workouts online.
• Involve your causes.
• Make friends with class regulars.
• Create an exercise contest.

Thanks, Fitness Magazine. I never thought about having my everything set out for the gym before. Where was my head?

Maybe that's a little snarky but I didn't find the tips all that helpful. I'm not going to run home from work - it's a bit dangerous in dress shoes. I can only buy workout clothes as the budget allows, and I workout at home - not the gym. No class buddies for me. I will say that I have thought about running a marathon to raise cash for breast cancer research, and I do log runs on a personal spreadsheet that notes distance, time and pace.

For me, though, my biggest motivators are having a goal (i.e. race) to work toward and having a schedule, which I post on the refrigerator. I even put a sticker on each day of the schedule/calendar after a successful workout. It's totally nerdy but I love seeing a month full of stickers.

What do you do to stay motivated?