By 7 a.m., you'll have fed the baby, fed yourself, fed the dog, paged through the Target ad from the Sunday paper and made a pot of coffee.
Oh, and you'll have spent 20 minutes of your life (which you can never get back) watching an infomercial for the Rhythm Rocker.
Just what you need, right?
The Rhythm Rocker is a crunching, rolling workout system that promises to help you "melt away" weight. It allows "you to create your own level of resistance by leveraging your body weight against the tilting action of the seat."
Or, from my perspective, it allows you to learn how to give a lap dance. Just what everyone should be thinking about at 7 a.m.
I'm sexy and I know it/ I'm sexy and I know it/Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah /Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah /Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah /Do the wiggle yeah
Of course, this is coming from the girl who spent too much cash on the Carmen Electra Strip Aerobics DVD set. I hang my head in shame - especially because I used it all of five times. I just felt sort of silly gyrating in the living room of my empty apartment.
And I think that's what will happen with the Rhythm Rocker. Iit seems like one will seem turbo awesome when you're sleep deprived and feeding a 6-month-old but when you bust it out, it all seems a bit hokey. And you won't even dare try to use it in front of your husband for fear of being laughed at (or allowing him to get the wrong idea). It will sit in the living room for a few weeks, becoming a spot to stack diapers and eventually it will go in the basement next to the deep freeze full of Lean Cuisines.
If you use it, though, I'm sure it will work. Why don't you give it a try for three payments of $33 and let me know how it works out?
As for me? I'll be spending my $100 on Body Pump, drop-in Zumba classes and a new pair of gym sneakers (not running shoes - they are different).
What about you? Have you ever ordered a fitness system online? How did it work out?