To My BRF, On the Eve of Your First Marathon

The ladies behind the "Run Like A Mother" books and AnotherMotherRunner.com have declared this week BRF {Best Running Friend} Week. It only seems fitting, then, to write a letter to my BRF, Tami, as she prepares to run her first marathon on Saturday.

Dear Tami,

I still remember the morning we met. It was dark and chilly, the only light coming from the parking lot lights at the YMCA. And though it was March (March 25, 2014 to be exact) it was still snowy and icy, keeping us in tights and gloves far later in the year than we had hoped.

We were cautiously optimistic. Though we met through social media, we had mutual acquaintances. People who could vouch for us. I was not a murderer, and you were not a stalker – at least according to our official criminal records.

On that day, we ran 3 miles together although we both ran longer – me logging miles before meeting you, and you adding a few more after. You told me that your pace was 9:30 or 10, maybe closer to 10. You were worried about slowing me down but my log has my run at a 9:21 pace.

You were strong, even then. You just didn't know it yet.

According to my running log, we didn't run again until May. We both had a full calendar of spring races and, maybe, were still a bit uncertain about each other. I feared you didn't like me even though I was desperate for a companion on my early morning runs.

But on the 15th, we went out for 5 miles. We did the same the next week. And the week after.

The summer of 2014 was a golden one. Each run seemed to be faster than the one before and when it wasn't, it was only because we added another mile to the route. Except for that one time when I was really bad at math and I added 2.5. After all, who doesn't love to run nearly 9 miles before work?

Thankfully, you are able to laugh at that now. I think you laughed at it then, too.

We spent those runs getting to know each other (we're basically the same person) and finding our footing as best running friends. Could we fart in front of each other? (Yes.) Could I cuss? (Hell yes.) Could I spend three miles debating the merits of the Brooks Ravenna versus the Saucony Fastwitch? (Of course.) Do we stop to pick up change on the sidewalk, even if it's just a penny? (No question.)

That summer, I felt like my wish came true. I had found a best running friend. Even today, with hundreds of miles under your FlipBelt, I am grateful that we found each other. That we clicked. We've been able to not just grow together as running partners but as "friends."

More than that, though, I feel honored that I have been able to see you grow as a runner and a person. Just you.

You are the same girl, yes, that I met 18 months ago but you have found a way to shine and believe in yourself. You are strong. You work hard. You know who you are (even if it's a little bit crazy sometimes).

You are fit. You are fast. You are a runner.

And on Saturday, when you toe the line in Akron, you are that girl. You belong there. You earned your spot. You will stand within sight of that 4-hour pacer and know that you have that time in you.

If, for a moment, you don't believe it ... I want you to remember that I do.

During the 26.2 miles, you will have times where the race feels so good that you will doubt that it should feel that good. You might think that you are doing it wrong. Remember: You aren't. You trained so that you can feel that way. It is not just OK to feel strong, it's expected. Because you are just that. Strong.

There might be miles, too, when everything feels like shit. I'm hoping that it's figuratively and not literally. We've been there, though, and you know what to do. You also know that it won't last forever. You can have a bad mile. You can have three if you want them. The number doesn't matter as those miles will not take away anything from your accomplishment. Not on Saturday and not in the 16 weeks that preceded it.

In the darkest of moments, you might feel alone. Surrounded by others taking the same journey, the roar of the crowd might fade and the bibs on singlets disappear. You are not. I will be with you. Step for step, fart for fart. If I eat the free chili from the cafeteria again, I might be ahead of you on the farts but that's nothing new.

But no matter what happens, you will make it to that finish line and, when you, do it's all you. Throw up your hands and celebrate. Celebrate the 26.2 miles and the journey to get there.

Much love,
K

At the crack of ... {A Three Things Thursday Post}

Five miles at 5 a.m. from the YMCA – that was the plan. And it was a good plan, too. For the most part.

Oh, and by the most part, it means I learned a few things.

A photo of sunshine and happiness, one of which did not take place on the run, because we need them in our lives.

1. While my inclination for early morning runs is to give myself as little time as possible, it is paramount that you give yourself enough time. After all, one of the key qualities of a good BRF is being courteous (aka being on time). I generally require 15 minutes to pump, 5 minutes to poop, 5 minutes to get dressed, 5 minutes to eat/hydrate, 5 minutes to fumble with the lock and 10 minutes to drive to the location. So, I need to wake up 45 minutes before I plan to meet a friend.

4:15 a.m. would have been the time this morning. Just one thing: 4:15 sounds so early, like a million times earlier than 4:30. I decided that I could streamline the process, sleep in my clothes and get up at 4:22.

In reality, I had to cut my 5 minutes to hydrate and eat and was lucky that I had a shorter drive.

2. My later wakeup was not the only reasoned I was forced to cut my pre-run snack. In my rush to get ready (because I cut my prep time), I dropped a brand new jar of strawberry jam on the floor. Want to guess how that worked out?

Note: Do not try to "save" a portion of the jelly for a PB&J under the hope that that part was not near the glass. Even if it wasn't, you will swear that the first bite and any subsequent bite is full of shards.

3. Establish a "run late" window. Tell the person/group that you will wait for x number of minutes before heading out solo/with others. Be sure to exchange phone numbers so that you can send an update if you, say, get stuck behind a train or needed more than 5 minutes to poop.

But lessons aside, I was lucky to have an easy, nice run with one of the gals from the group. I haven't run with her much since the whole birth thing and it was a nice chance to catch up ... and maybe reminded why I'm glad I'm not running a marathon.

This year, at least.

Guide to Becoming a BRF {A Three Things Thursday Post}

This week is a good week.

I rocked a killer tempo on Tuesday. I met Joe for some early morning, fast-ish miles today, and I have a date with Tami on Friday. Saturday, it looks as if I'll be running 10 miles with the group before hitting up a Saucony event at Three Rivers Running Co. And, still within the seven-day window, Kim and I ran pre-Dirty Girls and the event itself.

While I do enjoy a bit of solitude in running, especially for quality workouts (I want to train myself to run hard on my own), it's nice to have a cadre of runners who will put up with me - for 3 miles or 10. I've come to depend on them in the past 9 months to get my butt out of my bed, to get me to run long to stay in shape. They've pushed me to work harder, run better and be stronger.

The process, though, hasn't been without some lessons. Namely that Runner + Runner doesn't always equal Match Made in Heaven. Just as in life, there are things we can do to ruin what seems like a great relationship. In order to foster the BRF (best running friend) relationship, it's important to do a few things.

1. Be courteous. The basics: Show up and show up on time. Sure, things happen - a sick kid, a sick you, crazy weather, the longest train on the planet. You might have to cancel or be late. Just try to give the person as much head's up as possible. It's why Grilled Cheesus invented smart phones.

But there's more: Bring your own fuel and water, dress appropriately, follow the predetermined route, tie your own shoes, brush your teeth, no spitting/blowing snot rockets in her direction and don't wear headphones (without prior permission).

2. Be honest. About pace, desired mileage, time constraints, your own abilities. It does no one any good if you keep things to yourself as it only allows frustration and resentment to creep in. For example, I am not going to accept an invitation from someone who runs an 8:30 pace for easy runs to do 7 miles at 6 a.m. when I need to be home at 6:45 to tend to Miles. (I'm also not going to expect them to loop me back to the car after a half hour, either.) Rather, my run date ad might look a little like this:

Middle-of-the-pack runner seeks like-legged early bird for mid-week easy runs of 4 to 5 miles between a 9:00 and 9:30 pace. I am willing to travel to Greenway access within 15 minutes of my home but the closer the better. The farther I drive, the less I will run as I do not have childcare past 6:45 a.m. I sometimes pass gas when I run and will pee in the woods. I like coffee, watching the sun rise and talking about the weird things my kid says to me.

3. Be flexible. I'm not talking the splits here or stopping midrun to take selfies of ridiculous yoga poses on rocks. I'm talking about being willing to adapt to your partner's needs. Maybe she's having an off day and needs to slow down - way down - or cut the run short or needs you to shut the front door. Sure, you both might have signed up for something different but a lot can happen in a run and it's important to make sure everyone makes it out alive, uninjured and (moderately) happy.

Also: Be willing to meet at various locations - not just "your" park or most convenient greenway trailhead; go for an evening run every once in awhile if you are a morning bird; accept a third now and again; try a workout with her rather than solely easy runs.

BRF bonus points: Come with post-run food, be willing to go to Starbucks sans shower and like sweaty hugs.

What are your do's and don'ts for running with a buddy?

Weekly Training Update: 4/28-5/4

Awesome. It's the best way to describe this week in training.

Why? Here are seven (lucky) reasons.

1. I ran with my this girl. My best friend of 12 years. Though we've gotten married together (not to each other, obv), had kids together, lost weight together, the one thing we've never done is run with each other. Saturday, we were able to change that. I was ecstatic and grateful for every step of the 7.02 miles. And, yes, we planned the coordinating outfits.

2. I got to run with Mark sans Miles. I include the details below but it's been a long time since that happened.

3. I ran my fastest mile in some time thanks to No. 2 on the list (as opposed to the No. 2, which could also contribute to such a milestone).

4. I got in some consistent weight training for the first time since leaving the BBG.

5. I successfully managed to fatigue my glute medius, which is a weak spot.

6. I got in all of my morning workouts before taking Miles to daycare, save for Friday's run. Hooray for no whore bath in the office bathroom!

7. I made it work. The weather was a fickle bitch this week but everything got done.

Monday, April 28
CROSS TRAINING | Circuit workout
5-minute warmup, including lunges, jumping jacks, knees and butt kicks 5 sets of circuits that included planks, high knees, push-ups, squats, wall sits, tricep dips, lateral step ups, one-leg deadlifts, bicep curls, diagonal raises, squat walks, clam shells, Russian twists.

Tuesday, April 29
RUN | 3.25 miles
Time: 30:52     Pace: 9:30
I pretty much sucked wind the entire time on this run. I had Miles in the stroller and the dog on the leash for an easy run but I just couldn't find my legs. It probably didn't help that this was the first humid morning I have had all spring. I was drenched in sweat by mile one.

Wednesday, April 30
RUN | 4.1 miles
Time: 36:58     Pace: 9:01
It's amazing the difference a day can make. This run felt so much better than the 3 miles the day prior. I didn't feel like I was working as hard yet I was hitting much better paces. Less than a half-mile from home, Miles requested some Nuun and I took the opportunity to break and then push the last bit home to work on my goal of a sub-8 stroller mile by the end of summer. We maintained a strong effort and the best pace of the day was a 7:05 (for, like, 40 seconds).

CROSS TRAINING | Outdoor boot camp
I had planned to coach the workout rather than lead (does that make sense) but it was easier just to lead. We did four sets of tabatas, with a round of abs in between each set. The workout seemed to fly by with the shorter intervals and sets but still managed to kick my ass - literally. I was sore for days

Thursday, May 1
CROSS TRAINING | Ripped
The class before mine was canceled so I was able to squeeze in an extra track, which was nice. I definitely need to prepare more for this class since I'm not teaching in a gym setting but once a week. Mark was in class again, which helped me stay upbeat when I was struggling with choreo.

Friday, May 2
RUN | 3 miles
Time: 27:05     Pace: 9:01
I had a 8 x 1-minute hill workout on tap, and I had hoped to log 5 or 6 miles total. Especially since I was taking a personal day to get a massage. But, as I usually do, I overbooked my personal day and only had time for 3 miles. I did get in a couple "hills" and threw in some strides for fun. My glutes - medius and max - were still quite sore, and I was *almost* glad I didn't have time to do more hills.

Saturday, May 3
RUN | 7.02 miles
Time: 1:16:25     Pace: 10:53
My first run with my BFF. We met up in Cincinnati for part girls weekend, part (respective) family weekends. She just signed up for a June half marathon - her second! - and wanted to do 7 miles. We hit up a park on the other side of town for this west side girl and enjoyed the new surroundings. There were some rolling hills, to be expected, as we wove around the lake path, gorge trail and parcouse area. It was so much fun! And, as we finished, we had our own little cheering squad as Mark and Miles met up with some friends to play as we ran. They were all on the deck clapping as we ran underneath. Pretty rad, if I do say so myself.

Sunday, May 4
RUN | 4.2 miles
Time: 36:55     Pace: 8:47
This morning, the plan was for Mark and me to take turns pushing Miles up the torturous hills of my grandma's neighborhood. And then Miles declared that he did not want to go for a run in the stroller. I nearly freaked out - I needed the run - but my grandma obliged us and  kept an eye on Miles as Mark and I ran solo. What a treat! I picked a route that would make up for the missed hill repeats and groaned the entire way. When things started to flatten out the last mile, Mark thought he would put his pacing plan to the test and pushed me - and I mean PUSHED ME. I might have called him a not nice name when I saw the 8:12 split pop up.

Will you be mine?

I love my newfound running group. It's not a secret. At least among us. I mean, I don't spend every step of a 12-mile slush fest professing my undying admiration and appreciation.

But maybe I should. Or at least show them that I care. A little bit. And there's no better time than Valentine's Day!

While I typically loathe Valentine's Day, mostly because I want to throat-punch Jane Seymour upon seeing another heart necklace commercial, I was inspired by the holiday to create some fun best running friend sentiments - perfect to hand out at the group run this weekend as L.A. Marathon girl tackles 21 miles.

"I always NUUN you were the one." Yes, my friends, that is a valentine filled with love and electrolytes.

Disclosure: These Valentine's were just for fun, because I like silly puns, and in no way related to my ambassadorship.

I made a jpeg on PicMonkey, leaving a space for a single-serve Nuun packet. I uploaded the file, had it printed as a photo at Walgreen's and picked up the Nuun there, as well. For about 50 cents a card, I have some pretty rad - and useful - gifts for my crew.

Other Valentine ideas for BRFs:

Your stride is ELECTRO-fying. It's the same concept as the cards I made, using a single-serve Nuun tab. This time, the word play is on electrolytes.

We go together like ... Put those words on a card or handwritten note and attach Peanut Butter and Jet Blackberry Gus to it for a play on PB&J.

Bottled up. Whether you tuck it inside or attach with ribbon around the neck, write a note that says, "I can't keep it bottled up any longer - I love running with you," and pair it with a handheld (this one is super cute) or other water bottle.

Won't Chew Be Mine? Attach the sentiment to a pack of Chomps, which is what my friends bring on the long runs. The strawberry are my personal fave.

And for a more personal idea ...

Let's stick together. There's a few options with this - a stick or Tiger Tail massager or a stick of deodorant or Body Glide.

After all, nothing says I love you like giving a gift that says, "I'm thinking about your nipples."