Skinny bitching

I was perusing Pinterest for slow cooker recipes while I was eating my lunch. You know, as any office worker does. And I was supremely surprised by just how many called themselves "skinny" and/or "healthy."

The designation, obviously, is to generate more traffic and not necessarily an indication of whether a recipe is actually healthy or skinny. Because how can a recipe really be skinny? Are you just pounding out your chicken breast ala picatta so that it's so skinny, thickness-wise, that it cooks in a matter of seconds? Or, by some miracle of the universe, will I become magically skinny (whatever that means) by eating it.

As I had this internal dialogue, which happened to be far funnier within the confines of my skull, I realized that I am far too guilty of this. I made "Skinny" Taco Soup and the clever "Lighter" Chicken Parmesan, posting each on this here blog, and I label the things I eat as healthy.

Enough is enough. I barely can decide what's healthy anymore (low calorie or clean eating, sugar or no sugar or stevia) much less tell someone else what it is. So I'm not calling anything healthy or skinny. If you follow me on Twitter, you might have even seen quite the opposite.

Yes, I'm going to call recipes things like that for my own amusement. But probably just this once. Because it's only clever the first time.

This fajita burger, clever or not, was actually supposed to be meatloaf but I was too busy (read: perusing my Kindle in the tub) to prep it Tuesday morning. Thankfully, my husband is "up" for a burger about 99.943 percent of the time and happily enabled my idea/laziness.

Conventional wisdom might lead people to believe that this fajita burger might have sauteed green peppers and onions, maybe even some mushrooms, on top but conventional wisdom doesn't often go hand in hand with parenting a toddler. Rather, this burger has finely chopped veggies mixed in with ground meat, along with homemade fajita seasoning, as to disguise things son (and father) might pick around.

Note: For the seasoning mix, I cut the cayenne in half as to make it more palatable to sensitive mouths. Like mine ... OK Miles'.

To keep it authentic, especially as I am sure you can fajita burgers at any open air cart in Mexico City, we served them with cheddar cheese, guacamole (I like to have a pouch in the freezer at all times) and, gasp, sour cream. As these are fat ass fajita burgers, the patty was served on a white bun - also courtesy of my freezer.

Of course, since all of us don't have the magic Mark metabolism, the burger can be made slightly less fat ass by serving on a bed of lettuce and adding a bit of salsa. Aldi salsa if you are feeling sassy. Either way, your mouth - and your ass - will be happy.

Fat Ass Fajita Burgers

1 pound ground beef (for a less fat ass version use lean ground beef, such as Laura's Lean Beef)
2 tablespoons homemade fajita seasoning
1/4 cup finely chopped green bell pepper
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 egg white, optional
Cheddar cheese (for a less fat ass version use 2% shredded cheddar, such as Kraft)
Guacamole
Sour cream (for a, well, you get it by now version, plain Greek yogurt)
Salsa or fresh pico de gallo
Buns or mixed greens

Preheat skillet over medium-high heat. In a mixing bowl, gently combine beef, seasoning, chopped veggies and egg white. (These burgers held together just fine without the white but it could be helpful.) Pat the meat into an even round while still in the bowl and, using your hand, score into four even sections. Form each section into a burger patty. Put the patties in the skillet and allow to cook 2 minutes; press down with spatula. Cook 3 to 4 minutes more; flip. Top burgers with cheese as the other side cooks for an additional four minutes. Remove patties from skillet, onto a towel-lined plate. In the hot skillet, put buns cut-side down and toast for 1 to 2 minutes. Serve burger with guacamole, sour cream or yogurt and salsa or pico de gallo. To save about 100-150 calories, ditch the bun and enjoy on a bed of mixed greens.

Makes 4 servings.