No. The story was about Good Riddance Day in Times Square. It was the fifth year for the event, where visitors are "encouraged to 'shed and shred their bad memories of 2011." Some people tossed photos of former lovers, medical bills, the names of people who had been unkind.
And while 2011 was a very good year (hello, Miles), I couldn't help but think of the things that I would like to leave behind as I look toward 2012.
The negative self talk. I spent half the year pregnant and while people will say that they felt so beautiful and gorgeous and great while they were pregnant, I felt like a cow. All. The. Time. I never had anything nice to say about my pregnant body and often times I resented it. After I had Miles, the Kim bashing continued as I adjusted to a body that didn't feel like it belonged to me. Even though I've lost most of the baby weight, I still find myself saying things like, "My fat @ss doesn't need that cupcake." I would punch someone in the face if they said it to me so why do I say it to myself. It's not fair to me, the work I put in, the people who love me and that little guy for whom I desperately want to set a good example.
Laugh and Learn Puppy. Miles hasn't even played wit it yet, and I already want to beat it with a sledgehammer. If you even move this toy in the slightest, it starts to talk. "Ear!" "Yellow foot!" "Let's sing and play games!"
"Let's watch Mommy shoot herself in the foot" is more like it.
Health scares. From my grandma's heart troubles (she had a pacemaker) to my emergency (for lack of a better word) induction and subsequent C-section to a friend of the family's health issues, we were at the hospital more than I would have liked. I'm praying for health for all my loved ones in 2012.
The remainder of the baby weight. It's only 5 pounds but I don't really want it around anymore.
Oh, if it were just that easy ...
Self doubt. There was a time, albeit a short one, when I believed I could do anything. Run a sub-8 minute mile? Hells yes. A 16-mile race with little training? No problem. And then I got pregnant, had a baby and had to basically start from scratch. All of that confidence I worked so hard to gain was lost, and each run I struggled to get through chipped at what was left. In fact, my problems and near DNS at my most recent race - the HUFF - were not necessarily because of the conditions. No. It was because I didn't believe in myself. Such doubt seemed out of place, according to my friend, because I have accomplished so much. In 2012, I am going to set goals and believe that I can accomplish them because if I don't, no one else will.
What would you like to say good riddance to?
I would like to say good riddance to pretty much ALL of 2011! Pretty much would like to take it off the books actually! =-/
ReplyDeleteI would like to say good riddance to being unemployed.
ReplyDeleteI second your desire to leave your list of negative things in 2011. You're incredible, you're strong, you're beautiful, you're talented, and you rock. I'll believe in you until all of your confidence (and more) returns!
ReplyDeleteI' not sure I'd get rid of anything in 2011 - it was a pretty amazing year!
The weight gain of the last two months! Unfortunately its not that easy, but I WILL get back on it in 2012!
ReplyDeleteOh, I heart this post. It's kind of nice to say goodbye to crappy things instead of feeling like we have to open up to so many new things.
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say good riddance to being the yearbook teaching newbie in 2011. Ugh. I hate teaching yearbook, but at least that "new" factor has worn off a bit.
So glad I got to keep up with your adventures this year!
I had nearly forgotten what a beating my self-confidence took after birthing babies. It was totally foreign to me, gettting so bad that I was worried my hubs would stray...I was jealous and depressed and miserable. *shudder* So NOT me...
ReplyDeleteHere's to a POSITIVE 2012! Happy New Year!
Like you, I'd also like to get rid of negative self-talk. I actually wrote a blog post about my goals for 2012 and that was one of them. Ever since I lost some weight, I feel like I am more critical of my body and what I eat. Basically, I am terrified of "getting fat" again. It's horrible, and I really want to stop!
ReplyDeleteI love the good riddance idea and I would totally agree with your pregnant body thoughts. I feel like a cow all the time! ughhh....Can't wait for 2012 when I can try and change my thoughts about that one. I also loved that in 2011 I was able to say adios to a bad job. :) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe had that puppy and I remember the annoyance along with a whole bunch of other toys that seemed to turn on on their own! I am glad that is over for us now it is just the video game noises but headphones are a blessing for that!
ReplyDeleteSelf doubt sucks! Especially since you are a mother. You have done amazing things this year as a new mom and that is so rarely recognized in it self.
My only frame of referance when it comes to running seriously is post baby. I didn't try to run a race until my babies were 4 and 6. I do remember the feeling of being in a new body and lactiating as well. Running with those boobs was not fun at all! I only went out a few times and I didn't make an effort to do it. My weight loss was mostly from Breastfeeding and running around getting stuff done.
I am saying good riddance to negativity...involving myself and things around me that I can control. Enough already...life is too short.
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