I was listening to NPR on the way home from work the other day (go ahead - yuck it up), and I was struck by a story advancing New Year celebrations. It wasn't about resolutions or goals. It wasn't about what people accomplished in 2011. And it wasn't debating whether Dick Clark will manage to stay awake to see the ball drop.
No. The story was about Good Riddance Day in Times Square. It was the fifth year for the event, where visitors are "encouraged to 'shed and shred their bad memories of 2011." Some people tossed photos of former lovers, medical bills, the names of people who had been unkind.
And while 2011 was a very good year (hello, Miles), I couldn't help but think of the things that I would like to leave behind as I look toward 2012.
The negative self talk. I spent half the year pregnant and while people will say that they felt so beautiful and gorgeous and great while they were pregnant, I felt like a cow. All. The. Time. I never had anything nice to say about my pregnant body and often times I resented it. After I had Miles, the Kim bashing continued as I adjusted to a body that didn't feel like it belonged to me. Even though I've lost most of the baby weight, I still find myself saying things like, "My fat @ss doesn't need that cupcake." I would punch someone in the face if they said it to me so why do I say it to myself. It's not fair to me, the work I put in, the people who love me and that little guy for whom I desperately want to set a good example.
Laugh and Learn Puppy. Miles hasn't even played wit it yet, and I already want to beat it with a sledgehammer. If you even move this toy in the slightest, it starts to talk. "Ear!" "Yellow foot!" "Let's sing and play games!"
"Let's watch Mommy shoot herself in the foot" is more like it.
Health scares. From my grandma's heart troubles (she had a pacemaker) to my emergency (for lack of a better word) induction and subsequent C-section to a friend of the family's health issues, we were at the hospital more than I would have liked. I'm praying for health for all my loved ones in 2012.
The remainder of the baby weight. It's only 5 pounds but I don't really want it around anymore.
Oh, if it were just that easy ...
Self doubt. There was a time, albeit a short one, when I
believed I could do anything. Run a sub-8 minute mile? Hells yes. A
16-mile race with little training? No problem. And then I got pregnant,
had a baby and had to basically start from scratch. All of that
confidence I worked so hard to gain was lost, and each run I struggled
to get through chipped at what was left. In fact, my problems and near
DNS at my most recent race - the HUFF - were not necessarily because of
the conditions. No. It was because I didn't believe in myself. Such
doubt seemed out of place, according to my friend, because I have
accomplished so much. In 2012, I am going to set goals and believe that I
can accomplish them because if I don't, no one else will.
What would you like to say good riddance to?