Let's pretend I didn't write this: A book review

I was compensated for the following BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

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The older couple, who lived up the street, would pack up the truck on Sunday night and troll people's trash for treasures. Treasures like Betty Boop paraphernalia, which lined the walls in such numbers that you couldn't see the paint. The matriarch of the family next door had a bingo addiction so fierce that she would hit up two games a night. And the brother of a friend did things to Barbies that I didn't understand until I saw "Clerks."

And yet, it was my father's addition to our animal menagerie that made us the weirdest family on our street in a fairly urban area of Cincinnati.

A stuffed raccoon. Which was placed strategically on the 55-gallon fish tank, filled with goldfish-eating Oscars, that he used as a room divider between the living and dining areas of our small ranch.

And so it was great empathy that I read "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" by Jenny Lawson, better known as The Bloggess.

When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent "Let’s Pretend This Never Happened," Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives.

There are times as a writer – one who has published both non-fiction and fiction – when I read something and go, “Holy crap! I wish I could write like this person.”

And that’s exactly what happened as I read "Let's Pretend This Never Happened."

Lawson’s eccentric childhood tales are made to be told – from the squirrel puppet to “pet” turkeys following her to school – but what makes them, all strung together, a good book is her unforgiving, almost offensive writing style. It is laugh-out-loud funny, and I often found myself reciting passages to Mark as he tried to grade papers on the couch ... and drive ... and do the dishes. Lawson writes in such a way that you feel as if you are having a glass of wine (or several bottles) with an old and recounting the atrocities inflicted upon you by your parents.

Except most parents don’t throw a semi-docile bobcat on your future spouse.

I guess that this would be a good place to mention that this book is not for you if you are sensitive to the treatment of animals, are easily offended, do not like the use of swear words, never fight with your spouse or don’t see humor in those arguments and were never scarred by your parents.

As for me, my dad threw a dead Beta fish in my hair thinking it was a dried, crumply leaf and let our pet bird fly around the house for funsies as I locked myself in the bathroom in terror. Scarred and hard to offend, I am.

You can find out more about Jenny Lawson's "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" on the BlogHer Book Club page and join the discussion.. If you would like to read an interview with Lawson, you can find it here.

Here I Go Again: A book review

The following is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own. 

I probably should have been arrested as I ran through Stepford additions in the St. Pete area of Florida last Thanksgiving.

I was huffing and a puffing through a 9-mile run (crazy that I can still remember that more than a year later), and the only thing saving me was not the Island Nectar Gu Roctane I had tried to take but the audiobook edition of "Pretty in Plaid: A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase." I was listening to Jen Lancaster (or whichever actress was paid to read it) talk about meeting Candice Bushnell an what an even it was, to meet someone who was so much of an icon. All I could think of was how Jen Lancaster was that idol to me, and I plotted ways to garner her attention and a meeting.

My social media efforts, lackluster at that, have been unsuccessful thus far but my love for her work is unwavering. And so it was with great enthusiasm that I applied for the "Here I Go Again" Blogher Book Club campaign.

"Here I Go Again" is the second novel from Jen Lancaster (most of her work is memoir/non-fiction).

Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn't understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped ... beloved ... feared. Present day, not so much. She’s been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband and kicked out of her condo. Now, at thirty-seven, she’s struggling to start a business out of her parents’ garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was. Her present is miserable because of her past. But it’s not like she can go back in time and change who she was...or can she?

"Back to the Future" meets every nerd's fantasy, readers see the exploits of Lissy Ryder blow up in her face and learn that what might seem like the best way to right a wrong doesn't always garner the greatest outcome. Not intended to be more than a beach read (I hope), Jen Lancaster manages to make what could be a predictable story of learning the meaning of life an engaging, funny tale full of nostalgia for anyone who grew up in the 1980s.

Lancaster takes a big risk in asking readers to suspend disbelief - everything from time travel to a ditzy woman owning a mega PR firm to people staying friends after high school. Wait, maybe I'm the only unlucky one on that last part. Anyway, it could be a problem for some but I pushed the "huh?" thoughts aside to give myself the best chance at enjoying the story. And I did enjoy reading the story.

Where the book fell short for me was in its tone. Lancaster wrote it in her trademark voice - full of snark and sharp wit - the one I love so much. It became difficult, though, to separate Jen Lancaster the writer from Lissy the Ryder and I found that the tone became a bit tiresome and juvenile in "Here I Go Again."

Join the discussion on the Blogher Book Club page. If you are interested in following Jen Lancaster on social media she's on Twitter and Facebook. And, of course, you can also find her on blog, Jennsylvania.

Harnessing power of 'Instinct': A book review

If there was one thing people were hoping to find this time of year, it would be willpower. Whether they made a New Year's resolution to lose weight, save money or quit saying the "f" word, it is willpower that will help them reach their goals.

It's just a matter of finding it. Or, according to author and psychologist, Kelly McGonigal, it's a matter of developing it. 

"The Willpower Instinct: How Self Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It" is based on a Stanford University course taught by McGonigal.

From the publisher:

Informed by the latest research and combining cutting-edge insights from psychology, economics, neuroscience, and medicine, The Willpower Instinct explains exactly what willpower is, how it works, and why it matters. For example, readers will learn: Willpower is a mind-body response, not a virtue. It is a biological function that can be improved through mindfulness, exercise, nutrition, and sleep. 

I've always thought of willpower as something you have or don't have. Like having blue eyes or the ability to run a 5-minute mile. However, McGonigal argues that not only does everyone have the capacity to use willpower as it was something that evolved in humans for survival but something that can be developed like a muscle.

I have never (successfully) read a book in the self help category, often turned off by the matter-of-fact way in which they tell you to do things. Yes, I will stop eating after 7 p.m. because you told me to and because you said it's bad. Rather than telling you to stop doing something because it's bad McGonigal explains why you want to do something bad - talking about what part of the brain allows us to use and develop willpower - and also the parts, the impulsive parts, that try to thwart us. It is my opinion that this knowledge and understanding that helps us change behavior.

In our willpower endeavors, McGonigal divides them into three categories: I want, I will, I won't. For the purposes of the book, I chose to say that I will budget my discretionary budget because I want to spend less and save money. I won't spend money on small, unnecessary things such as coffee from the shop near work. Even if the flavored brew of the day is Butterscotch Toffee. Throughout the book, McGonigal offers challenges to help develop willpower and achieve goals. Some of them are easy -merely thinking about your decision and meditation - to awesome, like getting more sleep.

And that's the beauty of the book: You get to choose your own goal and you find out how to achieve it and why those methods work. It can be a bit cumbersome to get through the scientific research if you are unaccustomed to reading non-fiction but chapter summaries and real-life examples help further make sense of our willpower. Or lack there of.

P.S. I haven't purchased a coffee all week though I did redeem a coupon for a free small coffee at McDonald's.

You can find out more about Kelly McGonigal's "The Willpower Instinct" and join the discussion on the Blogher Book Club Page. If you are interested in following Kellie on social media you can find her on Twitter and Facebook.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Oh, the places you will go: A book review

I was compensated for the following BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

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I had my life all figured out. I was going to go to college, where I would major in journalism but most importantly meet a very nice guy. We would date for several years before getting engaged, and we would be married after graduation. We would buy a nice house and have good jobs. I would have our first baby at 25.

I was 16. And oh so naive. I might have met a nice boy in college but we broke up before either of us were ready to put a ring on it (despite four years of dating). I graduated but had a mediocre job - two actually - and rented a house that was never described as nice. 

Even then, as my life dreams seemed so out of reach, I still made a plan. I was going to work in Sandusky for two years, before moving to a bigger newspaper. I would become a news editor and then set my sights on becoming a managing editor. All before I was 40.

At 31, I can check some of those things off my list. I left Sandusky. I moved to a bigger paper. And, for a couple years, I worked as a news editor. However, as everything seems on track, what I want out of my life has never been so cloudy. I need direction.

"My Life Map: A Journal to Help You Shape Your Future" helps people at any stage of life create a visual road map of both their past and their future in major life areas such as family, work, play, friends, and education. Charting the past highlights patterns you may not have noticed before. Seeing the years ahead encourages you to set goals and shape a future with intention and purpose. This interactive self-help journal includes innovative mapping and chapters on Creating Your Maps (warm-up exercises for envisioning your future and tips on how to fill out your maps); Sample Journeys (completed maps of fictitious people at different stages of life); My Life Maps (blank whole-life, ten-year, and subject maps to fill out); Putting Your Maps into Practice (tips and tools for establishing next steps and annual checkups); and Reflections (blank pages to record discoveries, challenges, or promises).

"My Life Map" is broken up into sections: Past, Present, Reflecting on Past and Present, Future, Maps and Putting Life Maps into Practice.

When I got the book, I instantly found myself journaling in the fifth section: Your Future. Well, my future. I have no idea what your future holds. I'm not Dionne Warwick. I went through the warm-up exercises, answering questions about places I could see myself living, activities I enjoyed, what I considered important. I found these exercises to be thought-provoking, and they allowed me to put on paper the things I've thought about but don't dare talk about - teaching fitness classes more than once a week, getting my personal training certification, doing a triathlon.

The book also gives you the opportunity to map out your life and set a timeline for things you want to happen, as well as things to think about when setting goals to make things happen. It can be a bit overwhelming to lay out your life's dreams on a piece of paper but the writers suggest setting three to five goals for a year and committing to make them happen. If I want to do a triathlon, I can register for a race, buy a training book and find a tri group. If I want to be a better wife, I can hide my iPhone at 8 o'clock every night, make sure to book a baby-sitter once a month for date night and stop calling Mark fat.
 

The key to the book, of course, is knowing what you want. There were a few sections - family, specifically - where I felt frustrated that I couldn't answer them. Do I see myself with a second child? If I did, when?  It also forced me to face the reality that some very special people in my life might not be with me in 10 years.

 

The book is not intended to be a downer - rather it's to help you organize thoughts and encourage you to actively pursue the things you want out of life. I found it to be a fun exercise in challenging myself not to accept the life I have but create the one I want. 

 

You can find out more about Kate and David Marshall's "My Life Map" in BlogHer Book Club. Read her bio, read and excerpt of "Matched" or join the discussion here. If you are interested in following the Marshalls via social media, you can find them on Facebook page  and Twitter. 

Mis-'Matched'?: A BlogHer Book Review

I was compensated for the following BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

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I sat attentively at my desk in the carpeted, chilly classroom that belonged to Mrs. Heiber. From the front of the room, perched on a small chair, she read aloud. Her voice was clear and strong, the prose smooth and captivating.

I stared at her, her long skirt puddling at the floor, as I anxiously awaited what was next and, at the same time, wishing it wouldn't end.

My seventh-grade teacher, who still holds a special place in my heart, was reading "The Giver" to my language arts class. The story of Jonah and his "perfect" world was one that stuck with me, and I have found myself over the years re-reading the book by Lois Lowry. (I most recently read it, and the companion novels, late this summer as Mark considered it for his own seventh-grade class.)

To me, "The Giver" is not just an interesting tale nor does it offer just an insight into what we think is perfect. To me, it is a work of great literature - as evidenced by the awards it has received.

And so the bar was set high when I cracked open the green binding of "Matched." While it is an interesting tale that offers insight into our society and the idea of a controlled society, it is not a great work of literature. But it didn't need to be. And once I accepted that, I found myself captivated by Ally Condie's story.

Cassia has always trusted the Society to make the right choices for her: what to read, what to watch, what to believe. So when Xander's face appears on-screen at her Matching ceremony, Cassia knows he is her ideal mate . . . until she sees Ky Markham's face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black. The Society tells her it's a glitch, a rare malfunction, and that she should focus on the happy life she's destined to lead with Xander. But Cassia can't stop thinking about Ky, and as they slowly fall in love, Cassia begins to doubt the Society's infallibility and is faced with an impossible choice: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she's known and a path that no one else has dared to follow.

Aptly described by one reviewer on the jacket as "The Giver" meets "Twilight," the story sucks you in with the love triangle but leaves you wanting more with the writing. The prose was a bit too poetic at times and made me feel like the author was trying too hard to make Cassia, who tells the story, sound introspective and thoughtful.

I was able to look past it, though, as I found myself wondering how I would do in such a society. The world in which Cassia lives not only controls occupational and societal choices but recreational ones as well. Cassia is limited to how many times, at what pace and how far she can run on the "tracker" and her daily calories are controlled (and limited) by the society.

As all of you are sure to know, I would not do well and seeing Cassia think - actually think, a novel idea in her society - about how she liked to be controlled like that was - dare I say - rewarding. And once she figured it out, I was left captivated (and up far too late) by how far she was willing to go.

You can find out more about Ally Condie's "Matched" in BlogHer Book Club. Read her bio, read and excerpt of "Matched" or join the discussion here. If you are interested in following Ally on social media she has a Facebook page  and a Twitter account. She also blogs here.