Donuts are the devil.
Scratch that. Donuts are heavenly, especially if they come from the Amish bakery. Melt in your mouth caramel, light puffs dusted with cinnamon and sugar. They are nothing short of amazing.
The devil is in that I can't turn them down, and I have had to face that dilemma twice ... in two days. I love my co-workers but, man, they are not loving my efforts to lose the baby weight.
So, the baby weight ... I gained 35 pounds or so. I say "or so" because I never really paid attention to the scale. In fact, I got on it backward. I don't know where I started or where I ended but I'm sure the first measure was more than I'd be happy with. I say this because my weight is the highest it's been in five and a half years.
But I'm owning it. Or, I'm acknowledging it and, for me, that's half the battle. For the past couple months, I've been getting on the scale once or twice a week to measure my efforts to lose weight. Sometimes I'm happy with what I see, which is success, but most of the time I am frustrated. Week after week, the number is unchanged or the difference is so minimal that it is not worth logging. In eight weeks, I've lost 5 pounds. It makes me want to cut someone – or the roll of donuts hanging off my belly.
It's not that I'm not exercising – I am, about six days a week. My workouts are a combination of steady-state cardio, cardio intervals and strength training. My eating is OK. Some weeks are better than others but overall my calorie intake is on point, according to MyFitnessPal, when my activity level is factored in. (I am not giving myself bonus calories for breastfeeding.)
For example, I ran 5 miles and taught an hour boxing fusion class on Thursday. My calories for the day totaled 2,200. MyFitnessPal said I burned 896 calories exercising. 2,200-896 = 1,304. My weight was unchanged, as it has been for two weeks.
I know that food is the answer. If I'm going to change, my diet needs to. The problem is that I just don't know how. Things that seemed to work in the past just don't fly now, and I am cautious because I am nursing. Feeding Silas is more important than my weight. But ...
When I first had Si, I seriously considered going back to Weight Watchers. The meetings, with support and accountability, would do me some good and I would have a plan. They also make allowances for nursing moms. However, the times and locations didn't mesh with my schedule. I considered the 21-Day Fix but the planning and prep would be ridiculous and restrictive. Also, there was no way I was going to pay for the plan.
I needed something personal. I needed something reasonable. I needed help for me.
I needed someone who knew me.
So, I swallowed my pride and reached out to a friend and co-worker at the YMCA. Rachel is a health coach, having received her certification from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. The curriculum explores more than 100 dietary theories, and Rachel believes in balance and finding what works for you.
I told her I couldn't pay her crazy money, not what she deserves, but asked whether she could just look at my food diaries. Point me in a direction. Give me some resources. I don't need a turn-by-turn route; I just need the page in an atlas ripped out.
And, honestly, I need someone to smack me in the face with my food diary print outs and tell me to stop eating the donuts. I am guessing she will do that on Monday when I hand them over.