Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Ride Up: Elevator Woes {A What Would You Do Post}

Warning: This post will most definitely include ranting and most likely cursing. Proceed as you will.

It was another day grabbing lunch at the hospital.

I had good intentions, of course, of packing food today but time got away. One moment, it was 7:10 a.m. and I was taking a bath with Hulk, Iron Man and Miles and the next moment it was 8:30. A shot of adrenaline shoots straight from my brain to my ass to get it moving. I had a midwife appointment at 9:15 clear on the other side of two but they like to tell you it's 15 minutes earlier in reminders. So, I think I have a half-hour to get Miles in the car, drive to daycare, get Miles into daycare, kiss him goodbye and drive a half-hour to the office. It's not going to happen, I know, but I can do my best to be only a little bit late. However, Miles doesn't get the memo about "we need to go now" and is asking what he can take to daycare. A sword? A pumpkin? A cuddly. Kid, just get in the damn car. We need to go.

And, so, yeah, I didn't pack my lunch.

Just after noon, my work husband and I head to get lunch. We walk less than two blocks into the hospital, maneuver through the small ER and take the elevator to the basement. We navigate the crowd of people, select the best of the worst and begin to make our way back.

On the elevator.

We follow a small throng of female workers into the small space. "Six!" "Four, please." "What floor do you need?"

"One," we tell her.

And that's when it happened. The "it" that has me feeling stabby and defensive and all "I need to blog about this for validation."

A woman in the back corner, wearing dark blue scrubs and carrying a Styrofoam container, spoke up. "You could have probably taken the stairs for one."

"Yeah, I could have," I tell her.

"You know, you probably should have," she tells my work husband and me.

Uh, excuse me. I know what I should and should not do – not you. So why don't you hold yourself together and shut the front door?

Now, I will say that taking the stairs is a nice idea. I do it – sometimes. Other times, I don't really feel like it. I want to hold my food and stand in one place while a machine moves me to another place. It's easier, definitely, and in terms of proximity to exits, the elevator is more convenient.

Plus, I really fucking hate climbing steps. I know, I know. I have no problem running 5 miles – I even like doing it – but walking steps makes me tired.

I had no idea how to react to the woman. I felt agitated and defensive. How dare she judge me for my choices? So I said the most ridiculous thing in the most ostentatious voice I could summon.

"Well, I got up at 5 a.m. and ran 5 miles."

And then I walked out.

Tell me: What would you have done? And if you tell me take the stairs, I will ... umm ... not share my flank steak that was surprisingly delicious.


  1. You were nicer than I would have been. I would have turned around and said, excuse me? I know you did not just judge me, a stranger. I'll have you know, Ms. Superior, I got my ass up at 5 am to run five miles. By the way, I'm also pregnant. Get off your high horse. Biotch.

  2. wow - i'm usually so shocked when people make rude remarks that I tend to stare blankly. she has no idea why you might not have taken the stairs and it is none of her business. perhaps she should have taken the stairs..

  3. I would have added, "AND I did 45 minutes on a stair climber yesterday AND I'm growing a human ... So my legs need a break."

  4. Whoa. I'm always amazed when people say things like this. Why do they think it's a good idea???

  5. What a rude thing to say. I would have said the same as you - just told her whatever I ran that am :)

  6. WOW .. just WOWWWW. So I have a daughter with Prader-Willi Syndrome, she is 17 years old and obese. It's NOT her fault. But I walk around in public with her (obviously) and people judge all day long. Judge her. Judge me as her parent. I've often wanted to get a T-shirt made up that says on the back, "I have Prader-Willi Syndrome, What's YOUR excuse?" I digress. One time we were at Costco and Baylee was getting herself a drink .. I reminded her it needed to be diet. See she doesn't drink water .. EVER. It's a thing. Diet soda is the least of her worries however I had a lady turn to me and say in a very angry voice ASPARTAME!!!

    I NEVER respond well in these situations. I hate conflict. How dare that woman judge you. So yeah .. I would have been too shocked to respond. Kudos to you for coming up with what you did. I wouldn't have been that quick on my feet, nor that confident. Nicely done.

  7. I swear, elevators are like the Internet - for some reason, people have no trouble throwing ridiculous judgey comments at you because they're only going to see you for a few minutes. Nice comeback though!

  8. If I were you, my morning mileage would have also included "AND I AM PREGNANT YOU WHORE." Well, maybe not the whore part. But maybe.

  9. So, I'm the most non-confrontational person ever. I probably would've just stood there and got off at my floor fuming. I would then have proceeded for the rest of the day to think of the perfect comeback. Let's just say when I read yours it instantly made me smile. Also, I always take the elevator as the hospital I work at has stairs that are not convenient for anyone to use and are mostly only for emergency situations. Now it's just a habit to take the elevator anywhere I am.

  10. I can't believe that someone could be that rude and think nothing of it. I think what you said was tasteful and to the point. I always think of what to say after the fact. Maybe you will run into her again and she will see your growing pregnancy bump and eat her words. That would be priceless!

  11. No, Bobbie I think the whore part would have been good! What in the world is wrong with people?? Her ass could have taken the stairs as well!!

  12. Wow, Just wow. I would've stared in stunned silence. Wishing the whore line came to me.

  13. Unreal. I never have comebacks at times like that. Something witty would have arrived to by brain about 15 minutes off the elevator. I think your reaction was very justified.

  14. This really annoys me. As someone who works in a hospital, I try to be super aware of the fact that you are IN A HOSPITAL and may not know what brought that person to the hospital in the first place...they could be not obviously ill or visiting someone and not been in the best frame of mind. Whatever the reason, it was none of this bitch's business why you were in the elevator for one floor and she is a bad representative to the hospital for even saying such a thing. And your comeback was good...I can never think of quick responses and then kick myself for the rest of the day when I come up with something.

  15. She had no right to say anything about taking stairs....Geeezz!!! Way to go with your quick and tasteful response. I, too, think too slowly in situations like that and would have just been pissed off all day because I thought of a response way too late. Kudos to you!!