It was raining Sunday and raining hard as I got myself dressed for the 8 miles I had on my not-really-a-schedule schedule. The initial plan was to set off at 8 a.m. for 5 miles solo and loop home to pick up the boys for the final 3. But as puddles formed in the street and the walkway, rivers forging a path in our basement (thumbs down), I found myself considering and reconsidering my options.
- I could suck it up and run 8 miles solo in the rain.
- I could run 5 miles in the rain, hitting 100 for the month, and call it a day.
- I could run on the treadmill in the basement.
- I could go to the Y and run on the treadmill.
- I could cross my fingers and delay run till naptime, heading out 1 p.m.
Let me tell you something, none of those options seemed real appealing. Treadmill season is over, and I prefer to be finished with a run come lunch time. But the rain. I could almost feel it in my shorts, the cling to my inner thighs, and the wet hair plastering my forehead. The longer I waited, the longer I thought, the more I could feel what little motivation I had wash away.
And, with great defeat, I tucked my pony tail between my legs and resolved to wait.
Not only was I annoyed with the rain but I was annoyed with myself. Once upon a time, there was nothing that would stop me from completing a training run. I ran in snow, single digits, pouring rain. As I trained for the Huff 50K relay in 2011, it was a cold rain coming down as I logged 9 miles, trying to avoid puddles and cold, wet feet. Last summer, I remember 12 miles in a downpour, feeling a sisterhood with Shalane and Kara who ran a soggy Olympic marathon the same day. My shorts clung to me, and the water poured off my hat but I felt such a sense of accomplishment as I later sat in a recliner watching my girls run 26.2.
So what happened? What happened to Kim, the badass?
I wonder whether I'm a smidge burnt out or whether discovering that I can run whenever - not just mornings - has allowed me not to be only flexible or lax. Or maybe, I spend too much time trying to accommodate everyone else, hoping to avoid as much guilt as possible, that I don't do what I need to do. (Figuring out how to get Miles out in the stroller was among the considerations on Sunday.)
Thankfully, just as I bucked up, the rain let up and we logged our miles as planned. Just 45 minutes later.
The week:
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 4.25 miles (a.m.) + Piloxing (taught) + BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: 5 miles
Thursday: 5.25 miles on indoor bite + Rip (taught)
Friday: 5 miles, intervals (3 minutes on, 2 minutes recovery) + 3.1 miles
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: 8 miles
I think it is exactly what you listed - burn out, you know running later will work, and guilt over not going early. Those three things are what gets me too. Especially the guilt and other people's schedules. I SHOULD get up and run in the am when my husband is sleeping so we can spend time together at night, but hello... I need the sleep! Ha ha. Happy you got that 8 in! :)
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself. There is a time for badassery, and there is a time for recovering and gathering yourself for a new round of badassery. Don't beat yourself up because you didn't go out in the pouring rain to run!
ReplyDeleteWhen I trained for my first marathon, I was so paranoid that I did Every. Single. Run. on the schedule, come hell or high water. Miss a weekday 3.2 mile run? ZOMG I'M GONNA DIE AT MILE 22. Then I finished the marathon, didn't die, and got a little perspective that, yeah, that 3.2 mile run was good, but it wasn't make-or-break.
Look at this in a positive light: Maybe you have enough miles and enough races under your belt now to know when you can slack off? Or the confidence to know that you WILL get that run in, just not during a downpour?
I don't think you're a wuss at all. If your body needs a break, it knows and will send those signals to your brain. I'm glad you got your run in. I don't think for a second you not wanting to run in a downpour means your a wuss, ever. It's not ideal and not a single runner wakes up, sees a downpour and says, "OH hellz yeah let's do it now!!!" You're still Bad Ass Kim.
ReplyDeleteAs far as mommy guilt goes, this is my opinion - my kids need me healthy for a long long long time. Giving up a couple hours here and there is my positive impact on their lives, me leading by example.. so I try hard to remember that when I'm hit with guilt. And my kids are at the age they can say, "Why? Why do you have to spend all morning Saturday logging those miles? Why are you so tired?" and my answer is, "I want to be healthy so you have a mama for lots of years and your kids have a grandma for lots of years. And that running makes me less grumpy and able to put up with you guys easier. " LOL :)
Hang in there, my bad ass running friend. You are awesome!
It is hard trying to find time to run when you have kids. It is constantly juggling. Run with them ... or have them stay with someone else and run alone. I run with my 2 boys in the double jogger often but they get sick of it on long runs.
ReplyDeleteI just created a Weekly Run Report linky that is posted every Sunday. I would love for you to link up your training summaries.
http://www.babygiveawaysgalore.com/search/label/Weekly%20Run%20Report
Well, *I* for one think you are a giant wimp!
ReplyDeletekidding :)
It's simple really. When you only have one shot to get it done, you do what you have to do. When you CAN adjust to get more favorable conditions, you sometimes do.
As Miles gets older, it gets a little easier. When my kids were small, I had no flexibility, so I went when I had to go. But now, I do what I WANT, haha.
You rock :)