How to teach BODYPUMP: Lessons from a first-timer

1. Wake up at the pre-crack of dawn because you have wretched cramping in your lower abdominals. The irrational fear that you could be pregnant prevents you from obsessing about what could go wrong.

2. Get dressed in a ridiculous yet coordinated outfit inspired by a CrossFit coach you met this week: tank, booty shorts, knee socks and fluorescent Nike Frees.

3. Put on your good ju-ju necklace.

4. Leave the house a bit early so you can make sure you're not running late  in the event you get stopped  by a train.

5. Or decide you need a Diet Coke from McDonald's.

6. Make sure that your workout BFF is coming and brings her woot woot. You will feel assured knowing that her enthusiasm will carry you through if you get lost.

7. Limit the class to just your workout BFF and one other person. There's no pressure to perform for two people.

8. Promise yourself that if you mess up that you'll just have fun with it and discover the ability to laugh at yourself.

9. Cut the ab track short. No one wants to do a bajillion twisting mountain climbers.

10. Oh, know the choreography and stuff. Practice makes perfect and let's just say I've been practicing.

I don't recommend sweating so much that you appear to have peed your pants. But if that's the worse thing to come out of my first solo teaching attempt - and I'm pretty sure it was - I'll take it.