Friday, October 21, 2011

Truth and consequences

I feel like I’m living in the “Twilight Zone.”

tumblr_kt4f77bWZF1qzdvhio1_r2_500“My Name is Talky Tina and you'd better be nice to me.”

Wednesday night, Miles slept through the night. Like, from 8:15 p.m. to 5:45 a.m. Last night, Miles got up once, ate and went back to sleep without inviting 500 of his closest friends for a party. To top it off, he didn’t wake up until 8. Awesome.

With one exception: my run will happen this afternoon.

Just speakin’ the truth here.

Truth: Barley tastes good but it looks like boogers.

Consequence: When you wipe some off your apron, it looks like you flung snot on the wall.

Truth: Dogs will eat almost anything, including a half-tub of margarine, a bubble pack of Claritin and their own vomit.

Consequence: You will not have to wipe off the snot-looking barley because the dog has already eaten it.

Truth: I said “Thank you, God” this morning when I found a perfectly chilled Diet Coke hiding behind the almond milk.

Consequence: I am going to hell. And I’m going to have to drink water with lunch because I just “used” my one Diet Coke for the day at 7:26 a.m.

Editor’s note: Feel free to judge me on that one.

Truth: It’s always interesting great when your husband offers to the week’s grocery shopping.

Consequence: You get everything on the list plus a 24-ounce bag of shredded Cheddar cheese.

Truth: Mark loved the BBQ Chicken Pasta.

Consequence: He ate all of the leftovers for lunch, and I have nothing for dinner.

Truth: I had time to spare this morning and a 24-ounce bag of shredded Cheddar cheese.

Consequence: I found myself making macaroni penne-and-cheese at 7:30 a.m. while sipping my Diet Coke. (It also helped me use the quart of fat-free half-and-half that Mark bought.)

Truth: The last time I updated my driver’s license was three places ago.

Consequence: Mark has gently reminded me on-and-off to get a new one, especially the last six months (since we’ve been in the new house).

Truth: I finally went last week and waited a whole of 8.3 seconds to get helped by someone.

JOY: The employee asked me if my height and weight were the same. I looked down.

Uh. No.

When you wait three years to update it, you get to knock off 40 pounds.

Sadly, I stayed the same height.

What are your truths for the day?


  1. Truth: I hit the snooze button 5 times this morning before getting out of bed.

    Consequence: I barely had enough time to get ready, much less make a lunch... I grabbed some quick breakfast foods and will have to spend $5 on a cup of soup...

    Good news: Harvest Pumpkin soup makes Friday even better!

  2. TRUTH: I stopped to get a mocha java cappuccino on my way to work this morning as I did't want to fall asleep at the wheel and drive into the river and walked out of the gas station with a scotcheroo as well

    CONSEQUENCE: I was 10 minutes late to work and already over my allotted workday points...

  3. Truth: I took a shower this morning.

    Consequence: Since I didn't run before said shower, I probably won't run later today. (I hate showering twice in a day because I have really dry skin/hair.)

  4. i still need to try barley, it's on my shopping list

    truth: i like listening to jillian michael's podcast
    Consequence: I feel like I must have caved to some kind of peer pressure for this and that upsets me

  5. Unless you lie about your weight on your DL in the first place (like me, oops). BTW giggled through most of this post.

  6. loved this post!

    My weight never changes... at least according to the DMV! LOL

  7. still laughing from this post :)

    Truth: Leave the husband alone for a couple of hours and he will find that secret bag of pregnancy craving Cheetos. And he will eat the whole bag.

    Consequence: Bought two new bags at Target and maybe some Almond Joys.

  8. Great post - loved the comments too.