Friday, October 21, 2011

Truth and consequences

I feel like I’m living in the “Twilight Zone.”

tumblr_kt4f77bWZF1qzdvhio1_r2_500“My Name is Talky Tina and you'd better be nice to me.”

Wednesday night, Miles slept through the night. Like, from 8:15 p.m. to 5:45 a.m. Last night, Miles got up once, ate and went back to sleep without inviting 500 of his closest friends for a party. To top it off, he didn’t wake up until 8. Awesome.

With one exception: my run will happen this afternoon.

Just speakin’ the truth here.

Truth: Barley tastes good but it looks like boogers.

Consequence: When you wipe some off your apron, it looks like you flung snot on the wall.

Truth: Dogs will eat almost anything, including a half-tub of margarine, a bubble pack of Claritin and their own vomit.

Consequence: You will not have to wipe off the snot-looking barley because the dog has already eaten it.

Truth: I said “Thank you, God” this morning when I found a perfectly chilled Diet Coke hiding behind the almond milk.

Consequence: I am going to hell. And I’m going to have to drink water with lunch because I just “used” my one Diet Coke for the day at 7:26 a.m.

Editor’s note: Feel free to judge me on that one.

Truth: It’s always interesting great when your husband offers to the week’s grocery shopping.

Consequence: You get everything on the list plus a 24-ounce bag of shredded Cheddar cheese.

Truth: Mark loved the BBQ Chicken Pasta.

Consequence: He ate all of the leftovers for lunch, and I have nothing for dinner.

Truth: I had time to spare this morning and a 24-ounce bag of shredded Cheddar cheese.

Consequence: I found myself making macaroni penne-and-cheese at 7:30 a.m. while sipping my Diet Coke. (It also helped me use the quart of fat-free half-and-half that Mark bought.)

Truth: The last time I updated my driver’s license was three places ago.

Consequence: Mark has gently reminded me on-and-off to get a new one, especially the last six months (since we’ve been in the new house).

Truth: I finally went last week and waited a whole of 8.3 seconds to get helped by someone.

JOY: The employee asked me if my height and weight were the same. I looked down.

Uh. No.

When you wait three years to update it, you get to knock off 40 pounds.

Sadly, I stayed the same height.

What are your truths for the day?

9 comments:

  1. Truth: I hit the snooze button 5 times this morning before getting out of bed.

    Consequence: I barely had enough time to get ready, much less make a lunch... I grabbed some quick breakfast foods and will have to spend $5 on a cup of soup...

    Good news: Harvest Pumpkin soup makes Friday even better!

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  2. TRUTH: I stopped to get a mocha java cappuccino on my way to work this morning as I did't want to fall asleep at the wheel and drive into the river and walked out of the gas station with a scotcheroo as well

    CONSEQUENCE: I was 10 minutes late to work and already over my allotted workday points...

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  3. Truth: I took a shower this morning.

    Consequence: Since I didn't run before said shower, I probably won't run later today. (I hate showering twice in a day because I have really dry skin/hair.)

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  4. i still need to try barley, it's on my shopping list

    truth: i like listening to jillian michael's podcast
    Consequence: I feel like I must have caved to some kind of peer pressure for this and that upsets me

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  5. Unless you lie about your weight on your DL in the first place (like me, oops). BTW giggled through most of this post.

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  6. loved this post!

    My weight never changes... at least according to the DMV! LOL

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  7. still laughing from this post :)

    Truth: Leave the husband alone for a couple of hours and he will find that secret bag of pregnancy craving Cheetos. And he will eat the whole bag.

    Consequence: Bought two new bags at Target and maybe some Almond Joys.

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  8. Great post - loved the comments too.

    ReplyDelete