1. My arm hurts. Well, not really but I expect it to. And it's sure not because I got up early and had a fling with Jackie Warner. I wish it were that. No, Mark and I had to go to the bank this morning to sign a million and one papers for our house! Yes, folks we bought a house. A super cute ranch in one of our desired neighborhoods that doesn't need work. The only thing we (read: I) have to do is paint baby boy's room.
2. It feels a bit weird to say we bought a house but it feels even weirder to allow myself to believe it. I am still on pins and needles, needles and pins -- just waiting for something to go wrong whether it be with the loan or the inspection (also today) or some weird condition of the neighborhood association (like they hate dogs named Denali).
3. I was contemplating this fear this morning as I made myself a breakfast of PB&J waffles, and I couldn't help but wonder if this fear is related to my weight issues. Hear me out. I think I wait for things to go wrong because part of me believes good things don't happen to me. That I don't deserve them. Do I believe this because nearly a lifetime of obesity programmed me to feel that way? OR, was I obese because I didn't believe I was good enough to be thin?
I am not sure I know the answer, and I am so hot right now that I couldn't think of a good answer if I wanted to you. What are your thoughts?