Friday, September 10, 2010

What dreams may come

Pre-workout fuel: Slice of whole wheat toast with peanut butter and sliced banana
Workout: Ran5.68 miles in 49 minutes, 10 seconds; average pace, 8:39.

I woke up at 2:30 a.m. in a sweat - and it wasn't just because the heavy duvet was smothering me. It was a cold sweat, the kind that jolts you into consciousness. A sweat caused by the deepest of fears, the fears that only surface in slumber.

I dreamed I was a DNF at Fort-4-Fitness.

In this dream, I struggled to get to the starting line on time and found myself in the last wave. I couldn't keep pace and with each step I found myself further and further away from my goal: a sub-2:00 half-marathon. So I quit. I just walked off the course. As others had successful runs, I found myself scrambling to find another half at which to make my goal.

I told Mark about my dream as he got ready for work and I got ready for my run.

"Yeah. Right. Like you would DNF," he said. "Ain't gonna happen."

I know that Mark has had a front seat to my growth as a runner over the past year and has the utmost confidence that I'll succeed. Yet I couldn't help but fret wonder about the pressure I ... we ... put on ourselves when it comes to these races. It's as if the accomplishment of finishing 13.1 miles isn't enough. We won't feel good about the race unless we accomplish something ON TOP of the 13.1 miles. We have to run the whole thing, finish sub-2:00, beat so-and-so at work (I'm talking to you, Mark).

It almost takes the fun out of running. And running ... it's supposed to be fun.

I did my best to keep that in my mind - running = fun - when I set out on my morning 5-miler. I took a route that I haven't traveled in a while and I just kind of ran. I went out a little too fast and sort of stayed there but I eased up as necessary and took an extra breath at a stop light.

Of course, that breath was taken away when Denali almost got hit by a car. Or could have almost been hit by a car. We were running north, and a school bus was stopped at a cross street. As I ran in front of the bus, Denali got scared and moved behind me, then to my right and straight into southbound traffic. Eek! I about had a heart attack, tripped and cried - all at the same time. Thankfully, the drivers were alert and all was well.

How do you keep your runs fun?


  1. I am sorry about your awful dream! :/

    I like to keep my runs fun with music! Honestly I have 5 or 6 different playlists ranging from when certain music was popular or an indie running mix... :)

  2. I'm sorry about your dream, too. Dreams like that can really shake you. Great news though, I'll be in the last wave and there's no way I'm letting you drop out - so . . . get that in your head now :) SMILE!

    Although running for me never equals fun, it is as fun as it could possibly get because I train with 2 awesome women.

    (raising my glass) Here's to you kicking your dream's butt and getting a sub 2 (cheers!) . . and beating Mark just because you can!