Belly up: Modifying exercises for pregnancy

Knees, belly, knees, rise. Knees, belly, knees, rise. Find that belly button and introduce it to the bar. Knees, belly, knees, rise. Knees, belly, knees, rise. Belly up to that bar, y'all.

I've repeated those cues, given during a barbell row, so many times over the past 2.5 years teaching Bodypump and Rip (a non-licensed barbell program very similar to BP) that I repeat them without thinking. The moves, too, are nearly second nature.

But as I was teaching this week, demonstrating from the side to illustrate a neutral spine, I noticed that my elbows weren't going straight back. My bar was going straight to the belly. Well, it was but my changing body has also changed my range of motion. I was having trouble really hitting the traps and lats, which are the primary muscle groups targeted in a bentover row.

It was a bummer, and I had to fight not to let it affect the class. The back track is one of my favorites to teach — and to perform. It's intense and strong, and I love the results — physically and physiologically. I can't do it being sullen. Rather, I need energy and power.

After class, after the benches were put away and the weights racked, I grabbed a light bar and thought about what I could do. Here's what I came up with:

Change the range. The traditional grip row (in Bodypump) goes knees to belly button to knees. There are other grips, though — mid and wide, each changing the target of the motion. By going with a wider grip, I bring the bar to the rib cage, which is unobstructed.

Refocus. After a few reps, it's easy to get sloppy with form. The result? Sub-par results and possible injury by recruiting secondary muscles to do the work. Taking a millisecond before each rep to rotate at the shoulders and bring the elbows to the midline can make the difference in a workout.

Mind to muscle. The neuromuscular pathway is something we don't think about training but they are the foundation of good form and achieving results.

"Neuromuscular pathways are the communication channels between the brain and the muscles. Whenever a person wants to perform a certain movement, skill, or task it is along these pathways that the brain informs the body’s muscles what action is going to be required to accomplish the goal at hand." (Source)

For me, a part of this training is being very conscious about what I'm doing during each part of the movement. I focus on the shoulder blades squeezing together as I bring the bar back. I hold the top of the row briefly to feel the pinch. I feel the muscles return to a resting state as the bar goes down. My focus is feeling those muscles work, feeling the concentric movement and the eccentric. It really helps to achieve results. For example, when I put this focus into a squat, squeezing the glutes at the top of the movement, I am sore for days.

Switch equipment. During a class, this might not always be an option but changing the form of resistance can lead to a better range of motion. A band row, for example, comes from the knees to the ribs. Elbows still shoot straight back and the shoulders still come together but the range of motion isn't determined by the size of a belly. A dumbbell row is another option, and performing a single version allows for more unobstructed movement.

Change exercises. A bentover row is one of my favorite exercises for targeting the posterior but there might be a time when I need to change it entirely. A reverse flye would focus on the trapezius and rhomboids while also recruiting the triceps and part of the deltoids. A band pull will target the same area.

Disclaimer: Though I am an ACE certified personal trainer and a certified Bodypump instructor, I am not your trainer. Please consult a medical professional before beginning any exercise program and seek out a fitness professional to discuss proper form. These modifications are based on my personal experience and should not be considered professional advice. 

Weekly Training Update: 3/3-3/9

I'd like to think if you don't learn something new every day, you aren't really living. And this week, I learned the same is true for workouts. Each stint of exercise offers the opportunity to discover more about yourself, sport and the world.

Among this week's lessons:

• If you spend the better part of 10 miles discussing how great the sun is with your running partners, there is a good chance you'll discover how great the sun is the next day. My Sunday long run in the sun, which started at 12:30 p.m., left me a little pink in the face despite the cold temps. Lesson learned: The sun's rays know no temperature. I need to wear my NAAWK for any outing when the sun is up.
• Anytime you try a new exercise or workout, you will be sore - no matter how in shape you are. My triceps hurt for DAYS just by using a medium resistance band during my Thursday night session at the Y. I'm a little nervous to hear how the participants did.
• I am most definitely a morning runner. I met Joe at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, and the perceived effort never matched the pace. A few days later, in the morning and feeling tired, I was far faster. 
• I need to be more open about my weight-loss journey and understand that sharing it with others is not bragging. A woman was leaving the boot camp class, which precedes my strength class at the Y, and was winded and beat. She was embarking on her own journey and I could tell she needed some encouragement. Instead of letting her think I have it together, and always have, I told her that I remember where she was and that  if you stay committed, change can happen.

Also, I reaffirmed that I have no shame. I totes took my new enso roller to the Y and rolled in the hallway before class.

The week, in workouts:

Monday, March 3
REST

Tuesday, March 4
RUN | 4.01 miles
I met my buddy for a post-Miles bedtime run. The goal was 4 easy but my dinner sat heavy, and I was TIRED. I was so grateful for the company ... and his headlamp. It was very much necessary with small patches of ice. Bonus: I got to take Denali along as I was tackling a shorter distance.

Wednesday, March 5
RUN |   5.02 miles
The plan called for 6 x 2 minute hills but I find it's just easier to press the hill program button on the treadmill. I think I did a dozen or more climbs, each at a minute. It was tough but I did it. As I was leaving, my fan club of 1 at the Y (a very nice guy who walks on the treadmill) told me I did a nice job and was holding a good pace. I think I live for seeing him there on quality workout days.

CROSS TRAINING | Bodypump
Attendance was a bit better this week! I had a new-to-me participant, a returner and a couple of regulars. Trying to heed some advice from an instructor, I tried to be overly energetic and borderline fake. Get me some pom-poms because I'm about to be your cheerleader.

Thursday, March 6
CROSS TRAINING | Bands, balls and barre
I went through my demo workout for a class I'd really like to do at the Y. It's about low resistance and high reps using the stability balls and resistance band. We did some isometric holds and limited ROM exercises. It was lots of fun.

Friday, March 7
RUN | 6.75 miles, tempo intervals
Oh, how I dread tempos - and this one especially. It was my longest yet, with 4 x 1 miles at tempo with 0.25-mile recoveries. I was on the treadmill for this, and I just willed myself through it.  

Saturday, March 8
CROSS TRAINING | Bodypump
Good class. I tried to go a bit heavier on upper body, and it's fun to challenge myself. One of my regulars is a complete badass, and I continue to be inspired by the weight she lifts. I wanted to get in some cardio on Saturday but Mark was out and Miles didn't nap. We power shopped instead.

Sunday, March 9
RUN |  10.04 miles
I met two of the mother runners in the run club for a much-needed afternoon run. We promised each other to keep the pace easy and focus on the miles. There was some success there as we had to walk a few sections of the trail that were still icy or unplowed but there were a few miles that were on the fast side. It felt good and fun.
 

Weekly Training Update: 2/24-3/2

There's two choices when it comes to training: Complain or conquer.

Complain that it's cold out, complain that there's still ice on the path. Complain that pace is suffering, ego knocked. Or you can conquer. Conquer a workout, conquer the negative voices. Conquer the snow, conquer the doubts.

This week, I did a little bit of both. I conquered the tempo run. I sucked it up, got my head together and pushed through my negative split run.

But I complained. I was not a fan of the new on Sunday and the way it made my legs and head feel. I was not a fan of the cold and outdoor ventures requiring two pairs of socks. I was frustrated, again, that early morning workouts are not happening as Miles' wakeup time creeps earlier and early. (Hello, 4:30 a.m. today.)

Here's how it shook out:

Monday, February 24
REST | Cincinnati
I had hoped to try a group fitness class in Cincinnati but child care fell through, and I was tired.

Tuesday, February 25
RUN | 6.5 miles, negative split
After returning from Cincinnati and dropping off Miles at daycare, I had the rare opportunity to run in the afternoon outside. Even if it was cold (the high teens), there was no snow and I couldn't pass up the chance. The goal of this workout was to run each 2-mile block faster than the previous. My plan was start at 9:30 and hit 9:15 for the second block and 9:00 for the third. When I hit 9:15 for the first mile, I knew I was in trouble and would have to really lock it down to make it through. I ended up around a 9:20 average for the first block and 9:00 for the second. The fifth mile was an 8:45 and the sixth was 8:07.  I was really pushing it at the end, afraid to not nail the workout, and ended up gassing myself.

Wednesday, February 26
RUN | 3 miles + 8 strides
Strides are fun and a great way to add mileage but I need to plan for it. I didn't expect to hit 4 total miles for the run, and I was late hitting the showers at the Y.

CROSS TRAINING | Bodypump
Participation was at an all-time low - none. I was a bit disappointed to say the least but opted to do the workout solo. I had a bit of company from a familiar face - a beefy and friendly guy - who wanted to use the group ex room to jump rope. He gave me some great encouragement and his presence gave me the motivation to try some heavier weights on my own.

Thursday, February 27
CROSS TRAINING | Spin class
I was so excited to make it to a lunch time cycling class and have a more traditional ride than the advanced class I used to take. The music was good, and I enjoyed some of the hovers.

CROSS TRAINING | Bands and balls
I'm working on revamping my class for the Y, and I tested out a workout using stability balls and resistance bands.

Friday, February 28
RUN | 5 miles with three at tempo pace
If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now: Tempo runs are the one workout that intimidate the shit out of me. Intervals seem manageable because there's rest but tempos are sustained threshold workouts. I reminded myself that I had done it before and really surprised myself.

Saturday, March 1
CROSS TRAINING | 45 minutes on indoor trainer
By some miracle, Miles took a nap and I was able to hop on the trainer for a little spin. I've rediscovered my Kindle and thanks to our recent Amazon Prime membership, I had a bevy of things to watch. I just had to figure out how to watch the Kindle on the bike. And figure it out I did - using Mark's music stand as  aprop.

Sunday, March 2
RUN | 8.1 miles
We had 4 inches of fresh snow but I was meeting my beast of a running partner, so I knew I wasn't going to bail. This run was the most difficult winter run I think I've had. I was slow and frustrated, feeling defeated for most of the miles. We ran for 90 minutes and really just tried to take pride in time on my feet.

Tell me: Complain or conquer?

Weekly Training Update: 2/10-2/16

I stepped off the treadmill on Thursday, absolutely drenched in sweat and my legs shaking. As I walked to the locker room, I thought to myself, "This is what it feels like."

It? It is training. Training training.

Sure, I've prepared for races. I've put in miles and some faster ones but it hasn't been since my 2010 effort for Fort4Fitness have I logged the quality miles with such consistency and rigor. For five weeks, I've done tempos and repeats, hills and progressions. Save for weather-hindered long runs, I've followed the plan to a "T" - even when I've thought that I could do just otherwise wing it.

The plan is courtesy of the Mother Runners, the "Train Like A Mother" half marathon Own It Plan. I decided to follow the schedule after running joyfully, yet aimlessly, through the early winter. I just had an itch to do something more, to try for something better - especially after the disappointment of Veterans Marathon.

My goal is the Athens (Ohio) half marathon on April 13, though I'm working less toward a time and more toward a strong effort. I am hoping to see what I can do - really do - and whether I can post a strong time in the fall.

The week, in training:

Monday, February 10
CROSS TRAINING | 50 minutes "Bob Harper Total Body Transformation"
This workout was fairly early, and I wasn't quite ready for such intensity as tired as I was. I also felt like this workout had a lot of shoulders in it, prompting me to go down to 3-pound handweights for some of the exercises.

Tuesday, February 11
RUN | 3 miles + 5 minutes of strides (total of 3.6 miles)
I felt pretty good on this run, and I actually enjoyed the strides at the end. I didn't do it completely as prescribed as I didn't remember the intervals, and I pushed harder to compensate.

Wednesday, February 12
RUN | 5 miles, with 3 at tempo pace
Tempo runs are the most feared by me on the training plan. It seems manageable to hold a difficult pace for a short interval but three miles seems overwhelming. Despite my apprehension, this run went very well. I felt strong and committed throughout, and I kept a fairly aggressive pace for the last mile. I'm almost enjoying the treadmill for these runs as it allows me to stay controlled while pushing me.

CROSS TRAINING | Bodypump
I had a class and I was relieved to have participants (5!), including a person making a second trip. Still, I didn't feel like I was on my game after not teaching for a week and I allowed myself to get distracted by a pair who like to catch up in class.

Thursday, February 13
CROSS TRAINING | Ripped
I had every intention of doing some sort of indoor cycling this day but I couldn't make it work for a number of reasons/excuses. I taught my YMCA Ripped class, which is similar to pump, but stayed very light because my legs were SORE from Wednesday.

Friday, February 14
STRETCH | 20 minutes of Joy of Yoga DVD
My hips. Oh, my hips. I was sill fairly sore from Wednesday's class so I tried to get in some stretching before tackling the day's run. Miles was up early so I could only occupy the TV for as long as he'd allow. I was surprise that he let me go 20 minutes. It wasn't enough but it did help.

RUN | 6 miles, with four 4-minute intervals (with 3 minutes recovery)
I thought this workout would be the easier of the speed days this week but I was wrong. So, so wrong. I was unsure of what pace to shoot for as it was a minute-based interval and I have not raced a 5K (with no snow) in quite some time. I tried to shoot for ideal 5K pace or slightly faster. The first three intervals, during which I got progressively faster, were manageable but I struggled greatly in the fourth. I ended up stepping off the treadmill at 3 minutes and then going for another 1:30.

Saturday, February 15
CROSS TRAINING | Bodypump
I almost thought this class would be a wash but one of the regulars made it, even citing that she felt bad the previous week didn't have anyone. We chatted a bit and she thinks it's more the culture of the gym and less me that affects participation. I went fairly moderate with weights as my hips still felt tight.

Sunday, February 16
RUN | 12.1 miles

There was actual pavement! Without snow! And no ice! Oh, how I missed it. I met two from the group, and we were able to maintain a decent pace thanks to improved conditions. Some areas still had snow, ice and slush but it was far better than we've had. After all, my near fall total was less than five. Overall, it was a great time and I felt strong.

Three Things Thursday: A 2014 mantra

I had the glow. After three workouts and a weekend in the gym, I was definitely glowing. But as I left the gym Sunday after our Les Mills launches, I had a sinking feeling in my gut.

It was a feeling that said: You are not good enough.

Part of the magic of the launch is presenting the workout with other instructors, and the two instructors from the north gym are top notch. They know what they are doing, their timing is great and they just had it - the charisma. As I left, all I could think about was that I wanted to be just like them when I grow up ... because I certainly didn't feel like I was.

I felt it, too, yesterday as I left my class. While there's some other things stirring in my life that are affecting my confidence, I couldn't shake that I wasn't them. And I know I'm not them but you know what I mean. Driving home, dwelling on my lack of "them," I realized the difference. Those instructors have swagger. S-W-A-G-G-E-R. I have ... well ... a shit load of insecurities.

At a recent "Brownies with the Boss" at work, the CEO talked about swagger and how our company's mission for 2014 should be about owning our product. To own it, we would need to be enthusiastic, confident and have swagger. I think he had five or six items total but I was too busy eating my brownie on the floor because all the seats in the conference room were full.

Note: I've requested Fruit Salad with the Boss but it was rejected as they didn't think people would show up for melons. Obviously, though, they show up for brownies.

Back on track: While the talk was a bit too go-getter for me, I did find value in it for me and think it translates beyond the office and into the gym and on the road.

>>BE ENTHUSIASTIC<<

Gym translation: I love Les Mills. Seriously, I do. I love the music, the choreography, the workout. I love the way my body has changed since I began taking the class and changed more since teaching it. The question is whether I show my participants know much I love Les Mills. I need to smile. I need to talk positively about the program and the gym. I need to cue about the changes we're making throughout the tracks.

Running translation: When you tell people you are training for race, say it with a smile. Talk about how great the course is how and how much fun it will be. You don't need to talk about how crappy your 20-miler was or how you pooped your pants on a 7-mile run. Few people will ever train for a marathon if that's all you talk about.

>>BE CONFIDENT<<

Gym translation: Confidence has always been and probably always will be a struggle for me. It's something about the fat girl who never escaped when I lost weight. However, time and time again, people have told me that they would never know. They see me as the fit girl. And I need to own it. I need to walk into the gym and know that I know the choreo. If I flub, I flub and move on. If I give a cue or say something, I need to use my voice and not just say it.

Running translation: We don't always have perfect workouts or training cycles but we need to own the work we do. When we show up to a starting line, we should smile, stretch and seed ourselves. We should not be cowering in the portable bathroom, trying to swallow upchuck because we don't have faith in ourselves. If someone asks us how we feel, we say I'm excited to go. I'm ready! We don't say, "Ho hum. I sort of want to throw up again."

>>HAVE SWAGGER<<

"Swagger is a combination of motivation and self belief, resulting in a state of mind where you truly believe you can achieve anything you put your mind to." [source]

Gym translation: If I don't believe that I'm as good as the other girls, I am not. I need to believe that I know what I'm doing, show that I know what I'm doing and have fun doing it. Easy, right?

Of course not. It will take work. I liked this piece about improving confidence and swagger, as it advised two things:

• Assess where you are. Example: I need to work on timing and engaging the participants.
• Take action. Example: Practice makes perfect. Make an effort to follow along with training DVDs once a week and look up during class.

Running translation: Same. Be honest with yourself, do the work and believe in it. Go to a starting line like you belong in the front.

So 2013 might have been the year to make shit happen but 2014 is the year to earn my swagger.

Back it up: Core Values, Week 2

"Elegance in explanation."

I was interviewing someone today for a project I'm working on, and he was describing how a switch can turn on when a person shares something so "known" in a precise, simple way that it can click. In that conversation, he pinpointed something that I had been trying to since Saturday.

During our launch this weekend, the CXWORX instructor and lead group fit trainer was talking about the program and the goal in the design:

You can't be strong here ...

If you aren't strong here.

As a trainer - even as a Bodypump instructor - I know that it all comes down to balance in exercise and program design. You can do preacher curls, bicep curls, hammer curls, barbell curls until the cows come home but you are going to do some damage if you don't train your triceps. Runners, me included, struggle with dominant quads and hips, which tend to overcompensate for a weaker posterior chain (hamstrings, glutes). Weaknesses can lead to injury.

So, when we train our abdominals as we have been with the Core Values challenge, it's equally important to do exercises for the low back. I like to include back extensions and supermans into my routine. The bird dog, which we've seen in the previous two weeks, is also a great exercise for the area. 

Core Values Check In

Two weeks in, and I'm feeling good. I am definitely getting in the habit of doing 5 minutes of core work, with the challenge becoming less of a, well, challenge. It did help that my marathon of classes this weekend included core, and I didn't need to find time beyond that to get my plank on. I'm also finding that my abs are not as consistently sore as they had been in the first week.

Exercises to try this week

Birddog with a 45 degree angle (see 0:27 in this video)
Back extension
Walking plank (alternate between forearm and straight arm, keeping hips stable)
Fire Hydrant In-Out
Oblique V-Up

How are you doing with the challenge? Be sure to comment for this week's entry into the prize.

Time to glow: Launching Les Mills

Every part of my body hurts. My triceps, my shoulders. My back and my chest. My glutes burn as I type this, and I can feel the soreness radiate from my quads. I even have the bow-legged hobble. It's as if I ran a marathon this weekend ... and yet I didn't log a single mile.

Rather, my weekend was filled with squats and lunges (800+ and 200+, respectively), jabs and crosses, mermaids and mac raises. There were bicep curls and almost 300 reps targeting my triceps.

For me, my fellow Max Fitness instructors and our participants, it was time to forget about sweat ... and it was time to GLOW.

The two Max locations with Les Mills licenses teamed up to launch the latest releases for BODYPUMP, BODYCOMBAT, BODYATTACK and CXWORX. For those of you unfamiliar with Les Mills, the company releases new music and choreography every three months and instructors/gyms are encouraged to make the new material an event. The launch parties often have themes, back-to-back classes that are free to members and goodies for those in attendance.

Our theme was "Forget about sweat, it's time to glow," and we made about it glowing from the inside out. I had healthy breakfast bar and Nuun for the inside, and on the outside, the instructors wore bright colors, glow bracelets and these amazing shutter shade classes. It was such a blast.

Oh, and there was the "glow" from a good workout. I presented three tracks from BODYPUMP 88 and took the classes for Combat, Attack and a sample of CXWORX on Saturday at the north location ... and then did it all again on Sunday at my home base. Hence all the reps. One day was brutal as I woke up sore Sunday but two days was insanity.

Thankfully, Mark came to the Bodypump class on Sunday, and it gave me a nice boost. I was hoping that he'd stay for some of the other classes, as he'd really like them, but he thought 88 was tough and enough for one day!

Jerk.

If you are unfamiliar with Les Mills, here's a bit about the classes:

• BODYPUMP is the original barbell class that focuses on high repetitions and low weights to build muscular endurance. 
• BODYCOMBAT is a Martial Arts-based workout that’s designed for individuals looking to boost cardio fitness and benefit from total body conditioning. 
• BODYATTACK is a sports inspired cardio workout that builds strength and stamina. This dynamic, high-intensity program is designed to cater to a wide range of fitness levels and ages. 
• CXWORX is a 30-minute personal training inspired strength workout. CXWORX trains the muscles of the trunk that stabilize the spine and transmit load between the upper and lower limbs.

I really liked all of the classes and had a moment where I wanted to get certified in all the things, and I was a bit bummed we don't have the programs at my location. I think a few of my Pumpers thought the same thing! Hopefully, I can make it to the other location for the classes ... if only to take them on fresh legs!

On a side note: I totally thought I was going to go for a leisurely 6-mile run Sunday afternoon to shake out the legs -  mostly for the sake of miles. I am so funny, I am. I had the post-marathon hobble as I walked to my car. I am pretty sure my fitness can survive a week of just two runs.

How was your weekend? Do you take any Les Mills classes?

Weekly Training Update: 11/11-11/17

The good news is that my legs are starting to feel like my own. The bad news is ... there is no bad news. I feel like I had a solid week of workouts that honored my body and effort I put forth at Veterans Marathon.

I spent a lot of time on low impact, low intensity cardio. You know, the stuff I tend to eschew - elliptical, bike, walking on the treadmill. I also did a lot of things in the gap between dropping off Miles at daycare and going to work so that I could give my body some extra sleep. When that didn't work out, I hopped on the treadmill after Miles went to bed.

It didn't hurt that I'm trying to get up to speed on season 4 of "The Walking Dead." I figure if I'm going to spend all that time in front of a screen that I should be moving as I do it. Only two more episodes to go!

By the way, did you know that Danai Guirira, who plays Michonne, is a fan of Jillian Michaels' workouts? I was listening to a Jillian podcast during which Danai was a guest, and she said she will put in a JM DVD in the morning. So, it seems, doing 6 Week Six-Pack will land me on TV. Obviously.

The week, in workouts:

Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 45-minute walk
Wednesday: Elliptical + Bodypump
Thursday: 30-minute walk + Ripped
Friday: 3.08-mile run + Heated yoga
Saturday: 4.25-mile run + Bodypump
Sunday: 3.2-mile run + 40-minute walk

Three Things, err, Wednesday: What now?

It's been nearly four weeks since I received my ACE personal trainer certification, a rank I worked six months to achieve.

And with this newly earned credential I've done exactly one thing.

Used the time previously set aside for studying to become obsessed with "The Walking Dead." Not quite what you were expecting, eh?

Now that I'm in the middle of season three and my time getting freed up, I am feeling a bit antsy to put the certificate to work.

1. While I'm not getting paid to train (right now), I am working with Mark to build some muscle mass and size. He's a fairly lean guy - definitely a runner's build - but he's always been curious if he could gain some weight and achieve some of the mass of famous people who are about his height (read: Tom Cruise). I have him lifting heavier than he has and doing a split routine with weights three times a week (shoulders/chest, legs and back/arms) along with some cardio. We need to get in the gym together to do some baseline assessments and measurements but he said he's feeling good so far.

2. In a bittersweet move, last night marked the end of my time at the gym where I began teaching. A couple months ago they chose to drop the Les Mills license, which meant that I taught a different (unlicensed) version of Bodypump and was at risk of losing my certification. I recently got the chance to move to a different gym to teach Bodypump. It's where I subbed last week, and I will start - officially - next Wednesday. It's a traditional gym setting, and I'm hoping that I can use it as a foot in the door to train clients there.

3. Personal training comes with some risk and liability, which require insurance. I have yet to acquire it (waiting for packet from ACE) but once I work out some of the legal stuff, I am hoping to train in small groups - maybe the running club in the off season or online. I also have some great participants who were interested in following me to the new gym but might not be able to make the different times. I am thinking of offering them the chance to work with me in an in home setting.

I am getting some practice on that last one, too - I am writing the runner's winter plan to do myself. Once I've rested and recovered from the marathon, of course.

Three Things Thursday: Fear factor

Happy Halloween!

I'm not sure what's more frightening this morning - the fact that Miles insisted on eating breakfast with this atrocious bear he stole from Nana and Papa or my 3.75-mile run that felt like 7.

I'm going with the bear because I'm not going to think about the run beyond my impending session with the foam roller. It wold be easy to let a bad run scare me during taper but I've been around the race course enough times to know that taper runs are never fun. And, if they are, it's not usually a good thing.

That said, it's OK to be scared ... as long as we don't let it control us

1. Last night, I subbed a BodyPump class at a new-to-me gym. Not only didn't I know any of the faces, I had to get directions to the group fitness room. Talk about scary! I definitely felt nervous, even intimidated, as the environment is a big change from where I have been teaching. I knew I would be judged based on previous instructors and their styles and fitness levels. Rather than shrink inward and not give the class what it deserved, I took a few seconds to collect myself and went on. I got a couple compliments at the end, which was nice and reassuring as I move forward.

2. A bit vague but with 2013 being the year to make shit happen, I had to make a pretty tough call this week. It forced me to give up the familiar, the comfortable, and move toward the unknown. And the unknown is scary. I worried that I had done the wrong thing, that I it was going to all blow up in my face. And it might ... but I don't think it will.

3. I'm really scared of this bear sitting next to me and the fact that Miles is licking syrup off his plate right now. I'm also scared of heights, escalators and rodents. My heart races when people even mention aliens or possibility of life outside Earth. I will run away from peacocks at the zoo.

I'm also scared of Smarties. The candy.

Trick or treat.

What scares you?

Three Things Thursday: Form fitting

1. A funny thing happened on the way to Bodypump. Actually, the "it" really happened during Bodypump. Shit. No. It happened after Bodypump.

Wait. Let's get this right. I noticed something funny after Bodypump because of something I did in Bodypump as a result of something that happened before Bodypump.

Got it? Good.

In an effort to alleviate any unnecessary pressure on my hip flexors, I have dropped my weight dramatically during Bodypump for any track that involves the hip flexors - squats, back and lunges. My usual squat weight ranges from 17 kg to 20 kg and, Tuesday, it was 9 kg. Nine friggin' kilos - not even 20 pounds.

The interesting thing, though, is that as I've dropped weight, I've found that I am more sore. Seriously. If you had asked me to sit on a toilet yesterday, it would have involved some dropping it like it's hot. Anyway, my hypothesis is that by reducing my weight, I am achieving a greater range of motion and focusing more on my form and thus improving the quality of the action. It just goes to show that you don't need to lift heavy for good results.

2. Speaking of my sore ass - not my pso-as - I'm wondering if it contributed to the tightness in my lower extremities, a fact the orthopedic doctor emphasized several times during my visit today.

I had made the appointment Monday after (irrationally) convincing myself that I had a stress fracture but  nearly canceled it a half-dozen times after a relatively successful run yesterday and a continued improvement in pain. However, I figured it was better to be safe than sorry and showed up at 9 a.m.

There were some screens to test range of motion relative to pain, X-rays and more movement screens (Stork test, hello!). I would be lying if I said that my anxiety did not grow as the exam grew longer. I feared that maybe the crazy was right, and I was going to be sidelined this fall. But not so. I just have a strained/sprained hip flexor (as previously thought) and an irrationally tight sacroiliac joint. Actually, my entire hip complex is tight - so much so that my hips are not aligned and the doctor prescribed physical therapy.

The good news is that I can run, run now and run long. The doctor, who is a runner herself and member of one of the local groups, said I might need to reconfigure my training (skipping a cut back week) but sees no reason why I can't do Veterans in November.

3. I just ate a fun-size package of peanut butter M&Ms. They did not make my tummy feel good. That is all.

Note: I realize No. 3 has nothing to do with anything but what do you want from me? I've spent the better part of the week obsessing over phantom and not-so-phantom pains in my psoas. Because I am a crazy, self-centered fool.

Favor of the week: Give me something else to think about. What's your current obsession?

Tumbling into the guilt trap

I was in the kitchen, huddled around a hot cup of coffee and savoring the last micro-seconds of alone time this morning when I heard a familiar pitter-patter.

"Mama still sweaty?" Miles asked as he slammed the kitchen door into the pantry, approaching me with hesitation.

"No, Mama's not sweaty," I told him. "Mama's drinking coffee." And has spin class at lunch.

With the green light that his mama didn't resemble the Pacific Ocean with dead fish floating near him, he came over and gave my legs a squeeze. I patted him on his head, noticing that his buzz cut was growing out, and asked him if he slept good.

"I want a waffle."

And that was that.

Miles' inquiry into whether I was sweaty was not off-base. There are many a morning when I'm standing in the kitchen, in the same huddled position over a cup of coffee, with sweat dripping off my leg. There are miles under my Rogas and salt stains on my bra. He might not have been bothered as an infant by nursing post-run but even touching me now is taboo. And who could blame him?

Nor was I offended by the question. It's probably the least hurtful thing he says to me - and, no, I'm not talking about when he said he was mad at the world yesterday. More mornings than not, when I retrieve Miles from the crib, he'll outstretch his arms and ask me a question. One question.

"Mama all done doing Bodypump?"

Each and every time he asks, I feel a twinge in my chest.  The familiar sensation akin to a heart break.

When I decided to pursue my Bodypump certification, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I figured, if anything, I would learn a few things and help the family budget by getting paid (nominally) to work out rather than paying for a class. I didn't think that it would lead to a new passion, the year to Make Shit Happen and spending two nights a week away from him. I didn't realize that I wouldn't see him before he went to bed on Tuesday and Thursday, that I wouldn't be able to read "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" for the 3,276 time. I wouldn't get to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" or answer "What a bushel peck mean?" I wouldn't be able to place him in the crib with his menagerie of animals or be the last face he saw till morning.

More importantly, I didn't think that he would recognize my "absence." I naively believed that he would go about his day, as I do mine, finding other ways to fill his time than pulling my hair.

Logically, I know that is OK to be away from him and good for me to do things for me. I know that I will be a better mother if I pursue outside interests and find things that fulfill me physically, mentally and emotionally. I understand that the hours I am missing are just a fraction of the time I spend with him and make the other bed times that much more special.

I know that. And, yet, nothing can stop the flood waves of guilt. It plagues me more and more as the weeks go by, as life gets busier and Hood to Coast nears.

I look for answers and reassurance but find little. Just a push to keep doing in the vain hope that, one day, the work-life-family-exercise balance will be there.

Weekly Training Update: 6/17-6/23

Tough.

It's the only way to describe last week. Well, that or stupid. Or both. Yeah, it was both.

On an ordinary week, I'm running five times (4 days, which includes a double) and teaching four classes. It's nine workouts, for my fellow math challenged journalists, that add up to six or seven hours of exercise. I'm not sure because I don't really track that stuff. Anyway, suffice to say it's a lot. Last week, though, I was (still am) putting together a workout story that had me sampling two more classes. If you've lost yourself in this word problem, that's 11 workouts and 8 or 9 hours.

And, the clincher, I needed to push back my rest day till Sunday - not only because of scheduling but because Miles and I were headed to Cincinnati this past weekend. Running there requires Mark to either a) help with BOB duties because the hills are crazy; or b) watch Miles since my grandma isn't up for it.

Most people would probably just scale back on the running, figuring that two of the classes were straight cardio and could sub for the miles just one week. Other people might just go light on weights to help ease strain on the muscles.

And there's me. While I did finally concede that I wasn't going to get in a long run, I still ran my double day, my intervals and hit 20 miles for the week. It was not smart. And I'm going to learn. I promise.

I will say that it was worth moving the rest day and not trying to force a hilly run to get in that extra hour of time with my grandma. Miles was all about Grammy this trip and had a complete blast terrorizing her 800-square-foot home. I completely failed at snapping photos to provide evidence but can share this - a video of a Miles perplexed and amazed by a real telephone.

The week:

Monday: 5 miles
Tuesday : Piloxing (taught) + BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: 4.16 miles + Water aerobics
Thursday: 4.15 miles, intervals + 3.14 miles + Rip (taught)
Friday: BarreAmped
Saturday: 4.75 miles + BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: Rest

Shed the image

"My friend is going to come," C said with a smile as she returned to the aerobics area of the gym.

It was Tuesday night, and I was minutes from hitting start on the iPod to begin my 6:15 p.m. BODYPUMP class. The crowd, as it always is in summer, was little thin, and I was excited to have a warm, enthusiastic body to fill in. C and I quickly set up a station for her in the back - where C thought she'd be more comfortable - and I hustled to the front of the room to get things started.

The class was a good one. Though there were only four ladies, I felt like I was on my game and enjoyed teaching some new material. I pushed myself weight wise and did all of the walking planks on my toes. Plus, I was looking fierce in my knee socks.

But, really, this post isn't about any of that. It is about the friend.

The friend has lost 85 pounds and, after class, she told me that it was her first time exercising in 13 years. Her knees and weight had, in part, kept her out of the game. Until Tuesday. My class was her first time moving her body with the intent of fitness in more than a decade. To say I was humbled would be an understatement.

She had heard the music from the class as she watched her daughter tumble. She had been interested. But intimidated. She was intimidated of what people might think, how people might judge. She was embarrassed, she said, that she had the weight to lose.

But the gym manager had told her about me. My story. It's a story that I sometimes forget is mine. The friend said knowing that I had been there, that I knew what it was like to be there. It made a bit easier to walk through the door. If anything, knowing the story made her want to meet me. I was floored. Because, to me, I should be the one wanting to meet her.

I've thought about the friend a lot since then. I've thought about the things I want to tell her. I want her to know what it's like to feel embarrassed that you had so much weight to lose but the only thing you can do about your highest weight is to change it. Be different. Be better. I want to tell her not to feel intimidated about coming to a class. Fitness instructors want you to come. I want you to come. I want you to feel the way I do when I work out. I want to tell her to feel strong because she is. You have to be strong to commit to losing weigh and following through.

The thing I did tell her is that I hoped to see her again. And she said I would.

It is my hope that I think of her, her story when I teach my classes. It is my hope that I make everyone feel welcome and able because, to me, the beauty of group fitness is it allows a person to do what they can, the camaraderie to get through it and the inspiration to believe in who they can be and shed the image of who they were.

Weekly Training Update: 6/10-6/16

I wish I could tell you about my training last week. I do. Really. As I look back on the week, though, I can't remember much.

I know I ran - thanks to the MOTOACTV. I know I taught my classes - thanks to my paycheck. And I know I hydrated, thanks to the nearly empty Cherry Limeade and Watermelon nuun tubes. It will be a sad day when those were gone.

To give you a highlight, a stellar story or something quippy, I'm not sure I can. I can tell you that I did a speed workout on Friday that I gleaned from Runner's World. It's a 1-2-3 ladder that you can customize to your needs. It was hard. I wanted to not do it. But I did.

And that's that.

The week:

Monday: 4 miles
Tuesday : Piloxing (taught) + BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: Rest
Thursday: 5.25 miles + Rip (taught)
Friday: 4.17 miles (intervals) + 3.05 miles
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: 7.09 miles

The number game

It was just over two weeks ago, in the middle of BODYPUMP, when it happened.

We were on track 4, performing deadlifts, when I felt my BodyMedia armband start to slide down. I wasn't in a position to readjust it so I let it fall to my wrist and subsequently flail around as I performed cleans and push presses. It was awkward to say the least but the class must go on.

I tried to guide the participants through the stretches as I struggled to get it positioned correctly. But I couldn't. I took it off, threw it in my Lug Life gym bag and resolved to take care of it later. I came home and inspected the device as I chatted with Mark, lamenting that my beloved BodyMedia could be broken ... or not. As it turns out, the grippy circular piece of Velcro that keeps the armband secure was no longer attached to the end plastic piece. Seemingly all I would have to do is get some super glue and put it back on.

The weekend passed and days soon did, too, and I not only didn't fix it - I didn't even go to the store to get the glue. I was a bit taken aback by my lack of interest in doing anything as I had become reliant, to say the least, on the armband that measures daily calorie burn and uses software to sync with MyFitnessPal, giving me all kinds of statistics on my eating and exercise habits. I would only sync and charge the band if it coincided with a shower because I didn't want to lose any information. The 15 minutes at night to take care of those tasks seemed like too much time without it. When Mark asked to wear it out of curiosity, I quickly shut him down because a) it was mine; and b) I didn't want to lose a day's information for his experiment. On the days I charged it, syncing the data, I would anxiously review the data to see if I had burned calories I deemed sufficient while managing to eat within a certain range. I considered it a valuable tool for weight loss/maintenance.

The more time I spent without the device, the more I began to wonder just how many numbers one person needs? Do I need to know how many calories I burned while I was sleeping or teaching BODYPUMP? Do I need to to know how many fat grams are in my breakfast? It was 15, if you are interested. Do I need to know how fast I run a mile, how many I log in a week? I can tell you that, too. How much water I drink? Because the truth is that you can have and log a number for just about anything, especially with the advent of smartphones and the near rush of apps being created.

There's apps to journal food (I use MyFitnessPal), track mileage on runs, to calculate BMI, to practice Tai chi. There's even one, not so shockingly, to track water consumption. For at least three months, I used the Waterlogged app to keep tabs on how much I was drinking throughout the day after seeing Lauren at Oatmeal After Spinning write a post about it. Drinking enough water should be a priority for everyone but even more so for those with an active lifestyle, and I was "concerned" that I was not staying hydrated. I set an arbitrary goal to drink 80 ounces of water a day - mostly because that's what Lauren did - and started getting Waterlogged.

What I discovered, though, is I drink enough water. More than enough water. I usually drink two big glasses - 32 ounces - before eating breakfast, bringing me more than a third toward my goal. One glass at lunch and dinner add up to another 32 ounces. Then there's the two water bottles I usually drink at work for about 40 ounces. If you are bad at math, I'll tell you that's 104 ounces - 24 over the goal and 40 over the recommended 8 glasses. The more I realized I drank enough, the more cumbersome it got to track. The more cumbersome it got to track, the less I did it. The less I did it, the more the app reminded me that I wasn't. And then I just got annoyed. The app got deleted, and I've been hydrating just the same.

Of course, it wouldn't be so easy to just let go of some of the other numbers I track. I see success and progress in my splits, average pace and mileage. It's also an important aspect of training for a distance event. I find security and confidence in tracking my food (usually), knowing that I am not eating too much and can review my good selections.

As I contemplated this post, though, I wondered what it would be like if I just stopped logging my food and try to eat intuitively. I have been at this game long enough that I should know what to eat and when, how to eat to fuel my body and when to say enough is enough. I thought it could be an interesting experiment to give it up a week and see whether I gained weight, lost weight or stayed the same. But I couldn't commit. A sense of fear hung over the idea, and I was reluctant to give up the control, unwilling to risk gaining weight.

I considered the flip side, nonetheless. By stopping the numbers game, I can stop the fixation. I can settle into a pattern living life and not living to eat. I could stop trying the manipulation and numbers game that I play every day to get things the way I like. Rather, I could eat foods based on a nutritional profile and not label.

I have had a taste of that intuitiveness by not wearing the BodyMedia. Have I gained weight? Well, I was up two pounds on the scale yesterday but I don't weigh myself frequently enough to know whether it's a trend, water weight or the over-cited muscle growth (because obviously I'm now a meathead). I know whatever the reason, the weight gain is not because I gave up those numbers - though I will say that it made me reluctant to give up the numbers in terms of calorie counting.

What are your thoughts? What numbers do you track?

Weekly Training Update: 6/3-6/9

If three was one theme that drove my workouts last week, it was, "Be smart."

My four-day stomach bug (tired of this, yet?) derailed my running for two weeks, and I logged less than 20 miles over the course of each. Feeling back to normal, my legs were ready to pound the pavement but I knew jumping into a 25-mile week could sideline me as well. I spent a lot of the week counting miles and creating complicated word problems. "If I run 5 miles on National Running Day and I ran 3 miles on Tuesday, how many carbs do I need to eat what's the longest my LSD run can be?" (The answer: 6 miles.)

Of course, in true Kim fashion, I did flub a bit by incorporating a Spartan WOD that left me running four days in a row - definitely not in line with "be smart." The whole workout, though, went against all intelligence: 1/2 mile run, 30 burpees, 1/2 mile run, 30 jumping lunges, 1/2 mile run, 30 squats, 1/2 mile run, 30 push-ups. See? Crazy.

I will say that I did luck out with a drop in humidity, and running in the early morning was crisp and refreshing.

The week:

Monday: Rest
Tuesday : 3.15 miles + Piloxing (taught) + BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: 5 miles
Thursday: Spartan WOD
Friday: 3.25 miles + 3.1 miles
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: 6.2 miles

Weekly Training Update: 5/27-6/2

The week, in training:

Monday: Rest (sick)
Tuesday: Piloxing (taught) +  BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: 3.5-mile run (still sick)
Thursday: Trampoline fitness class
Friday: 4 miles + 30-minute YMCA audition
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: 7.15 miles (a.m.) + 3 miles (p.m.)

◊ ◊ ◊

Crouching in the woods along an unmentionable section of trail, I struggled to find a sliver of myself. I was on day four of some sort of stomach ailment/intestinal issue - my co-worker deemed it norovirus - and I struggled with cramping, bloating, other things and ridiculous fatigue. I was hoping to find some semblance of normalcy on that 3.5-mile run but all I found was a lack of stamina, frustration and a well-hidden spot over a guard rail and behind some trees.

I was fairly certain, in those miles, that I was going to be sick forever ... or need to take a pregnancy test.

By some higher power, though, I woke up Thursday morning full of spunk and ready to take on the day - and a trampoline fitness class for work. I don't want to say too much here since I don't know how my piece will develop but it was the most fun I've had in a long time. The class, which was more than just jumping around, incorporating intervals, resistance work and core training. The class was full of young people - think early 20s - who came with friends, and it created a far different dynamic than the group fitness classes I teach. And it didn't hurt that the instructor was not bad to look at. The class was exactly what I needed - a fun experience without expectations (and nausea).

And I think the illness-force rest was just as important. My legs felt fresh on Friday and even fresher on Sunday when I hit some crazy paces for both runs. More importantly, my mind was ready and excited to run.

Weekly Training Update: 5/20-5/26

The week, in training:

Monday: 4.27 miles
Tuesday: 5.03 miles, intervals +  BODYPUMP (taught)
Wednesday: Rest
Thursday: 4.26 miles + 2.5 miles
Friday: Rest
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: Unplanned rest (sick)

◊ ◊ ◊

I will be the first person to tell someone to listen to her body. To do the smart thing. To rest. And yet, I am the worst person when it comes to taking my own advice. I push and push and get frustrated when I don't see the results I was hoping for, which more than likely didn't happen because I pushed too hard.

Last week, I mapped out a week of workouts, incorporating the start of two-a-days to prepare for Hood to Coast. It sort of messes thing up, giving me five runs on four days when I've been accustomed to five runs on five days. I was struggling with what to do on Friday, and I gave myself the option to run very easy or bike to the office on Friday. Just a little sumthin' sumthin' to get my body moving and to acquire the "mandatory" sixth day of exercise. What I didn't map out was a show off move in BODYPUMP, lifting too much during squats and spending most of the week sore or a handful of runs that felt incredibly hard. When Friday came around, I was finally able to walk without wincing and knew I had a run in me ... but I also knew I would have a better weekend run in me if I rested.

So I did the smart thing and gave myself an extra day. It was awesomely refreshing and nerve-wracking, as I don't think I trust myself to take off days like that without gaining weight. But my legs thanked me. I began dreaming up 10 miles of awesome for the long run that awaited me on Sunday.

And then I picked up a stomach bug. I had originally thought I had eaten myself sick at a party on Saturday but three days later, it still sounds like an alien lives in my belly. So I'm on day three of rest and too many to count without running.

It sucks. And I'm getting cranky.

Spring Training: Week 9

Spring Training posts document my training for the Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon on March 30 and my "A" race, the Wisconsin Marathon half, on May 4.

The week, in training:

Monday: TurboFire Stretch 40 + 3 miles
Tuesday: Unplanned rest (stomach bug)
Wednesday: 25 minutes TurboFire + 20 minutes strength
Thursday: 1 mile + led circuit class (only did cardio) + taught BODYPUMP
Friday: 5 miles
Saturday: BODYPUMP (taught)
Sunday: 9.25 miles, long

◊ ◊ ◊

I am a monster. A green-eyed, jealous monster. 

I will look at other people's training logs and lust over high mileage and intense speedwork sessions. I see how fast other people go and long to be a glimmer of what I used to be. I talk to people who qualify for Boston and silently sulk that the only way I'll ever be able to run the capstone Boston Marathon is to do it wearing a charity bib.

It's terrible. I'm terrible. And I feel terrible that I think I'm terrible. 

But, the other day, I had an epiphany of sorts. Or a cup of coffee with an amazing, radiant woman.

I write a column of sorts for the paper called What's Your Workout? and I profile area residents and - you guessed it - their exercise routines. I started it in an effort to show people that the average Joe (or Jane in this case) can accomplish amazing things with the same demands that we all face. This month's column was about a marathon runner who recently qualified for the Boston Marathon. She didn't wake up one day, decide to run a marathon and lucked out that she "naturally" runs 7-minute miles and qualify in one attempt. Instead, she worked hard, worked her way up in distance, incorporated cross training and ran FOUR marathons before coming in under 3:45.

I was completely awestruck as we talked. It wasn't just her determination but her balance in dedication to training, being a mother (you should see her face light up when she mentions her daughter's name) and raising awareness for a good cause. You see, not only is she a great athlete, she is a cancer survivor and is now campaigning for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Woman of the Year on behalf of a 3-year-old boy with blood cancer. Just as she picked a lofty goal in Boston, she has in the campaign: to raise $100,000 for research. You know I rarely talk about donating money but here's her blog and a link if you are interested in reading more.

Anyway, back to running. While we were talking, I asked her what her motivation was and how she found it in her to get up at 4:15 to work out. Her response? If you want it bad enough, you'll do it.

And that's what I have to ask myself: What do I want and do I want it bad enough to put in the WORK? (Yes, WORK earns an all caps designation here.) I can get up earlier if I want to log higher mileage. I can learn to be more uncomfortable in my runs to push harder in training. I can do more than what will get me across the finish. If I want it.

I don't have the answer to the question, and I'm really trying to think about it this week. To search that heart of mine to decide what it's craving and what it needs.