5K Fashion Truths {A Three Things Thursday post}

Everything was carefully selected and laid out. Shorts of the compression variety from Moving Comfort, a graphic wicking tank from Nike and my ProCompression lavender socks.

Fast people wear short shorts, hence that pick. The shirt would remind me that the worries were behind me during the race. And, the socks? I just like tall socks. If I like what I wear, I'm happier and a happier runner equals a faster runner.

Right? Right!

Except not. Here's a few things to know when you are hoping to run a fast race.

1. Short shorts are great if you are Shalane Flanagan. In case you were unaware, I am not her nor do I have her lanky limbs. Rather, I have crotch biscuits that eat short shorts for breakfast and then ask for a side of gravy. I'm pretty sure the shorter shorts make me slower because I have to pull them down every tenth of a mile.

2. A shirt with a saying is great. I am the biggest fan of the shirts in the Another Mother Runner shop, and I love wearing the "I Am Stronger Than I Thought" for boot camp classes. But I'm also looking at myself in the mirror for 45 minutes. So it's great that my Nike tank told the world that the miles are ahead and the worries are behind. But you know what? I can't read my own shirt while I'm running and neither can my fellow runners. Well, unless we start running with mirrors in front of us or doing the moon walk. If you think a mantra on a shirt is going to make you speedier, think again because when you hit the puke threshold, the only thing you will care about is not ralphing on it.

3. A 5K is not about being happy. It's about hurting for as long as you can and then trying not to die. So though a pair of socks looks cute and makes you happy when you take your pre-race selfie, you won't give two shits about them a quarter-mile in. Well, unless it's hot and you are regretting wearing knee-high socks to a race in JULY. Plus, as I know from race photos, I practically spend the whole time running with my eyes closed, making it impossible to see my cute socks.

Moral of the story: Grab some cleanish clothes that won't rub you raw and hope for the best.

Triple threat: Race recap

The call it the Fanny Freezer. For the first track club race of the year, it's an appropriate name as it's pretty much guaranteed that your backside will be on the chilly side during February in Indiana.

And, I'm glad (??) to report, that the race did live up to it's name. I had a frozen fanny ... and my fastest 5K in three years and I placed third in my age group. Official finish time (gun start, chip finish): 26:58.

Three "runs": Being the multitasker I am ... and having a running partner training for the L.A. Marathon, we opted to turn the race into a long run with some faster miles in between. We ran the course backward to warm up, did the race and did a long cool down of nearly 4 miles. In addition, I wanted the 5K to be at tempo pace so that I could cross that off the calendar as well.

Three things about the course: It was two loops at a local park with a decent-for-Indiana hill to start and a downhill at the end. • This year, the track club got sassy and reversed the course, which I thought was much better. •  The first part of the course, with the uphill, is a road and as such was fairly slushy. The middle section was snowy but passable, and I found it the easiest to hold a difficult pace. I thought I'd be able to open up on the downhill but it was a layer of ice with snow on top and was quite slick.

Three things about my race: My compatriots and I had a delicious warmup on the course, and we agreed that the 10-minute miles just felt good. So good, in fact, that I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to kick it up to tempo pace - especially with the conditions. • I was very thankful that despite feeling like I was moving at light speed yet not going anywhere (because that makes sense), I was hitting the goal. • The first loop was manageable but, when greeted with an incline for the second time, it became much more challenging. I really had to dig to keep the pace under 9 minutes. I had to dig more when I knew I'd be close to a sub-27 finish.

Three randoms from the race: During the second loop, when I felt like crap, a tween boy told me, "Nice job." He was so sweet, and I very much needed to hear it at that moment. And then I passed him. • I tried to keep picking it up as I saw a curly pony tail ahead, and I thought it was a speedier girl who aged up into my group. I was right about who it was but I didn't managed to catch her. She ended up winning 30-34, 19 seconds ahead of me. • I felt like this race was the first time where I really belonged. I am an official member of the track club, there were lots of familiar faces and I just felt invested in the community.

Big, showy races are great but there's something about being able to smack someone's butt as you pass and feel good doing it.

Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K: A mile by Miles report

Let's get a few things out of the way:

I live in Indiana where the only place you see cacti is on the window sill of a nursing home.

I don't have any thorns. And if I did, I'm not sure I would know how to sweat them off.

I only agreed to participate in the virtual Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K because I thought I would place in my age group. Mostly because I'd be the only one.

You usually come here to read about the things my mommy does but it's about time you hear from me. After reading race reports from Henry, she decided to give this blog over to me for a day so I could give you the real scoop. I think she's a giant copy cat but I'm not going to argue over details when I finally get permission to bang on the keyboard.

MahMAH as I like to call her (I'm an Italian at heart) had a 5-mile run scheduled, with three miles at tempo (whatever that means). She said it would be perfect the training run to use for the Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K, which is hosted by The Boring Runner. While she went to the bathroom 500 times, I got suited up. I decided to wear my anatomy pajamas from Old Navy so that the competition would be intimidated by my muscles. Do you see them? My muscles? (I also brought my steering wheel so I could switch gears if necessary.)

MahMAH insisted that we had to start out slow for the first mile to warm up. It took her 10 minutes to push me to the park. TEN minutes. I thought it was pretty boring so I kept my Maggie in and tried to ditch my foul mood.

When we got to the park, MahMAH stopped her watch, ending her workout on the MOTOACTV, and grabbed a drink of water. She's usually pretty nice about giving me a drink, too. Little does she know that it's all in an effort to be the next spokesmodel for Gu.

I got another drink as MahMAH started a new workout on the MOTOACTV and then I was off.

We (read: someone not as smart as me) decided to turn right into the park, which meant an uphill start along the golf course. MahMAH did her best to go fast while pushing me. I thought it was a fairly lame attempt - lamer than the kiddie coasters at the fair. After she got to a flat section, I could feel her going faster. I heard her say something about "7" but that wasn't the number of the day on "Sesame Street" so I'm not sure what she meant.

We picked up speed as we went down toward the trickling river, and it got to be fun. I spit out my Maggie so I could squeal with delight. Daddy thought I was asking for a drink so we stopped to get some water about a mile in. I've been to races with MahMAH and they have people to give you water, which is a pretty sweet deal, but there was no one there. Just the same Gu bottle in the back of the BOB. I was going to protest the race support but I saw the guy with three dogs. THREE. I want to go to his house.

After everyone got water, we were off and it felt like we were settling into a better pace. MahMAH ran the first mile in 8:14 and while I know I can go faster, it's a pretty tough pace for her. Just as the ride started to feel smooth, Denali had to stop to poop. I don't know why he doesn't wear a diaper like me. It makes things so much easier - you don't have to take breaks and the cleanup is a breeze. Or so I think.

Daddy offered to push me for a little bit so MahMAH could have a break. There were lots of people and dogs at the park to look at, and I had fun as Dad weaved in and out of the people. Hey! It was just like a real race.

Even though MahMAH was running without resistance, the second mile was slower - 8:27. I thought you were supposed to run races with negative splits (yeah, I know about those) so I told her to pick it up. We rounded through the park and because MahMAH is all about things being fair, she made Dad push me up the hills we did at the beginning of the race. If I thought they were running slow then ... let's just say it felt like a walk. And I can walk. Did you know that? I can. I can walk.

I am not sure how they managed it but we did the third mile in 8:21. I could tell that MahMAH was really tired at the end. She some times can really kick it but she didn't do it this time. Her pace for the last tenth (8:22) was slower than the third mile. No fun! 

When we were done with the race, we stopped for water. MahMAH was breathing really hard and was being stingy with the Gu bottle. I looked around and noticed that we weren't home. I started to cry - I wanted scrambled eggs! MahMAH said that we still had to run nine tenths of a mile to get home and finish her training. I thought that was weird. What's up with this whole Sweat Your Thorns Off thing if you don't get to be finished right away?

When we got home, I asked MahMAH where my medal was. After all, I ran a race. I am even sure I won - especially since the stroller crossed the finish line before she did. She said there aren't usually medals for 5K races and definitely not this one.

Seriously? Seriously! I knew there was one to be had, and I was going to get it. I climbed up the stairs (I got tricks - they're for kids) and went looking.

I found a handsome medal with some animals on it, and I decided that I liked it best. I am strong like bull. Or buffalo. Or cow. Cut me some slack, here, I just now figured out that a cat is not a dog.

The official results:

In loving memory and moving forward

I ran a 5K today.

It was hot. It was hilly. My time ... well, it wasn't what I know I can do and definitely not what I had hoped I would do.

The 5K, though, was about none of those things. It was a race that was not about me.

The gym where I take/teach (can I say that yet?!?) was one of the sponsors for the 5K, and the gym manager had been encouraging folks to sign up for the race. The event, though, took on new meaning when a couple affiliated with the gym lost their baby at 20 weeks gestation. I am acquainted with them but not close and even still the loss of Aiden has been devastating and heartbreaking. As a way to honor his memory and maybe, if it's even possible, take steps forward, we decided to participate in the race as a group. Family, instructors, fitness class participants, tumbling students - we all donned T-shirts in Aiden's memory and in support of the couple.

Miles was kind enough to contribute his snot to the shirt pre-race :)

While many people were walking, I did know that I was going to run - how I was going to run was TBD until the horn went off. Even though I had run 4 miles this morning and it was 90 degrees out and I was in a cotton T-shirt, I thought I'd give it all I had.

And I did - in the first quarter-mile. The numbers I saw on my MOTOACTV were crazy in that first section, and I knew that it was only going to be downhill from there. More like uphill, actually.

There was not a flat section on the course. Period. You would get a small chance to recover on a downhill before being greeted with another uphill. The inclines made it very difficult to settle into a groove, pace-wise. Fast, slow, fast, slow.

The terrain was tiring but it was the heat that was crippling. The race was at 2 p.m., the hottest part of the day, and there was full sun. To give you an idea: I was dripping sweat from my thighs before I even started and after the first mile, I could taste the salt on my lips. I tried to stay hydrated, carrying a bottle with me, but the water was warm within a half-mile and completely undrinkable by the 2-mile mark.

There were a few moments when I really wanted to give up. To just walk. But I reminded myself that the couple I was running for couldn't just walk away from what they were going through. I could suck it up and run up a hill, run in the heat if they could get up day after day and live through the pain. I know that sounds like an unlikely comparison or a bit cheesy, especially for me, but I will tell you this: those thoughts and feelings were true. Maybe the heat really did get to me.

By the time I was climbing the last hill, I knew a sub-27 was far out of reach and I wasn't even going to come close to my last 5K, which was 27:35. I still dug deep for a final kick and finished in 28:26.

Once my chip was off, I grabbed a water ... and another ... and then a chocolate milk. And then I grabbed Miles. I was sweaty and tired but I clung to him because, more than anything, these past two weeks have taught me just how lucky I am to be his mom. Even when he hits me or picks my nose or won't go to sleep, he's there. It's a privilege that I'm not sure I deserve but one for which I'll be forever grateful.

I can't imagine what that couple is going through but I pray for them and baby Aiden ... that they find peace and happiness.