Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Training Again: Ready ... Or Not?

July 1.

That was going to be the day – the day I began training and the day I documented it my Believe journal.

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I bought my journal way back in January when Lauren Fleshman, one of the co-authors, was speaking at the Fort Wayne Track Club banquet. I had her sign my copy, going ridiculously fangirl as I told her that I was saving it for my post-baby comeback.

The one, I had decided, would begin July 1. It was a date that seemed far enough removed from Silas' birth that I would be ready to put my nose to the grindstone and ready to do it safely. I was excited to think about the workouts I would document, the successes and challenges I would face. Words like tempo and repeats made me giddy. I had visions of shedding time (and pounds).

But now that go time is eight days away, I'm not feeling butterflies in my stomach. Rather, it's more like a pit.

I've been running consistently over the past 5 weeks, and I'm getting comfortable at shorter distances. My runs are at least 3 miles, sometimes 4, but they are almost all at the same pace – start strong and fizzle. I'm adding a "long" run, too, on the weekends – shooting for 5 or 6 miles. I did this for the first time Saturday and made it 5 but the struggle was real for that last half-mile.

I have no pressing need to push the distance or the pace. Even though I declared this summer the season of the 5K, I am not registered for a single event at that distance. I'll be toeing the line at Fort4Fitness on Sept. 26 but I haven't handed over my credit card yet for the 10K or 4-mile race (or both). The only thing I really have to worry about is the Bourbon Chase and that is in mid-October.

And so I keep thinking, do I really need to start worrying about training? My fitness and average pace will improve with time, and I feel confident that I will run regularly without a schedule or journal to keep me accountable. I just had a baby (and C-section) 10 weeks ago, after all, and there's no need to put undue pressure on myself.


The big but. I have to ask myself if my hesitation to use the Believe journal is because, well, I'm not ready to believe in myself yet. Am I questioning my physical ability to put in the work? Am I scared that I won't be able to push myself like I did last year? Do I not feel worthy of the journal?

I don't know. I just don't. But, I guess, I have eight days to figure it out.


  1. I believe in you!!! (I love this picture)

  2. Training doesn't have to mean the same thing this year as it did last year. Even if you're not pushing yourself through speed workouts and crazy long runs, you're still training. I say you start using the journal, and in a few months it will be amazing to look back and see how far you've come. Hell, you've already come a long way in just a few weeks - maybe you should've started sooner! :)

  3. I think that taking on a training plan is always a bit daunting. Being a working mom is hard work. You've got this though!