Thursday, July 17, 2014

5K Fashion Truths {A Three Things Thursday post}

Everything was carefully selected and laid out. Shorts of the compression variety from Moving Comfort, a graphic wicking tank from Nike and my ProCompression lavender socks.

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Fast people wear short shorts, hence that pick. The shirt would remind me that the worries were behind me during the race. And, the socks? I just like tall socks. If I like what I wear, I'm happier and a happier runner equals a faster runner.

Right? Right!

Except not. Here's a few things to know when you are hoping to run a fast race.

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1. Short shorts are great if you are Shalane Flanagan. In case you were unaware, I am not her nor do I have her lanky limbs. Rather, I have crotch biscuits that eat short shorts for breakfast and then ask for a side of gravy. I'm pretty sure the shorter shorts make me slower because I have to pull them down every tenth of a mile.

2. A shirt with a saying is great. I am the biggest fan of the shirts in the Another Mother Runner shop, and I love wearing the "I Am Stronger Than I Thought" for boot camp classes. But I'm also looking at myself in the mirror for 45 minutes. So it's great that my Nike tank told the world that the miles are ahead and the worries are behind. But you know what? I can't read my own shirt while I'm running and neither can my fellow runners. Well, unless we start running with mirrors in front of us or doing the moon walk. If you think a mantra on a shirt is going to make you speedier, think again because when you hit the puke threshold, the only thing you will care about is not ralphing on it.

3. A 5K is not about being happy. It's about hurting for as long as you can and then trying not to die. So though a pair of socks looks cute and makes you happy when you take your pre-race selfie, you won't give two shits about them a quarter-mile in. Well, unless it's hot and you are regretting wearing knee-high socks to a race in JULY. Plus, as I know from race photos, I practically spend the whole time running with my eyes closed, making it impossible to see my cute socks.

Moral of the story: Grab some cleanish clothes that won't rub you raw and hope for the best.


  1. I do not own short shorts. Or any running tops with words either for that matter. And I've never run in tall socks. Who am I?

  2. Well first off what you did accomplish was looking adorable! I love love the lavender socks. I love the idea of short shorts .. however rarely wear them.

  3. You have me rolling at "crotch biscuits!" I am more of a running skirt fan for races... comfy and don't make me chafe.

  4. Love your humor! Also love the outfit, especially the purple. I ordered the short purple compression socks after reading your previous blog and used the discount code. I absolutely love these socks!

  5. lol. That's why I never wear shorts, always skirts for me :)

  6. Crotch biscuits! Yep, I will never be a short-short (or even longish short) wearing girl. I'm giving serious thought to wearing capris to RnR Chicago so I can wear a sparkle skirt and because my Athleta skirts have started chafing like mad.

  7. Oooh my gosh. Your crotch biscuits and gravy... perfection. That's Pulitzer writing.

  8. I laughed out loud when I read "crotch biscuits." My husband was like "what" and I told him and he walked away. I love the tall socks in July too, cause that's so smart:)

  9. Crotch biscuits! LOL! At least you tried the short shorts! I haven't, cause of that exact reason and the following pain.