Friday, March 14, 2014

Have a Ball: Caramel Coconut Energy Bites

You want to know what makes me excited? Balls. Sweet, chewy balls.

Let's set the scene: I'm at work on a long Thursday afternoon, snacking on Inner Peas from Trader Joe's, when my mind goes to balls. I leaped out of my chair excitedly, thanking heavens I didn't trip on the cord to the heating pad on which I was sitting, and quickly poured myself a cup of coffee. It was an hour past my caffeine cutoff but there's nothing better than a hot cup of joe and balls.

And before I get in too far over my head with this, let's be clear. We're talking about edible balls. I mean balls that you make out of food stuffs and are acceptable to eat in public. After all, I'm old and married and have a toddler.

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Now back to the balls. I know these things have been everywhere and no one really cares much about another "energy bite" recipe. I'm probably the last person on the planet to put dates in a blender, pulse until the cord is hot and put the hot mess in my hands.

But I did. And it was wonderful. Mostly because I'm doing 99% well on my no desserts during Lent and it finally gave me a use for the dates I bought on Manager's Special at Kroger for no reason.

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Hey! Look! It's turds on a paper plate! From a different angle!

I wasn't expecting success when I got out the ingredients - and even less so during the process - so there's no cutesy photos of ingredients or action shots of the food processor. As if you didn't know how to press on and pulverize till oblivion.

But here's what I used:

8 ounces of dates, which I had to pit
1 scoop chocolate protein powder {I used GNC Lean 25 Rich Chocolate}
1 tablespoon reduced fat Jif peanut butter
1/3 cup unsweetened coconut

I put it in the food processor - obviously - ground it until I didn't see it changing anymore. It was hot and gross. So I got out the scooper, formed it into messy balls and refrigerated. Cooling them off did wonders because they were firm yet moist and reminiscent of a Samoa cookie with the dates taking on the caramel flavor, the chocolate protein powder and coconut.

Almost too reminiscent of a Samoa, I might add. I've found myself indulging in them when I don't need energy, you know like when I'm drinking coffee or after I'm finished with my tempo run. And while I'm thinking about it, why would anyone think these things give you energy? It's not a steroid.

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It's a ball. So shut up and eat it.

Note: I apologize if you either found this post offensive or not amusing. I blame the balls. They are always at fault.


  1. Love your humor! These look really good and seem pretty simple to make. I will definitely give these balls a try.

  2. I can't wait to taste your balls. (I can be just as offensive or whatever you want to call it!)

    1. Hahahah! LOVE IT. I hope you do taste them. They are delicious.

  3. All I can think of is reading this in Alec Baldwin's voice on the Delicious Dish!

    1. Oh, oh! I might need to go watch that clip on YouTube now.

  4. Mmmmm! These look tasty. Whenever I make balls they get eaten too quick, so I don't make them very often. :)

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  6. I pinned these and can't wait to try them!!!

  7. I love the peanut butter date mixture!! This balls are great to have on hand after working out and for a snack. I also freeze banana slices covered in peanut butter chia seed mixture or almond butter. Great snack when I am craving a giant cookie or tub of ice cream .

  8. I had pinned these a long time ago and finally made them. Delicous and totally like Samoas. I used 10 ounces of dates because if I don't use the entire container I'd eat the rest :) I used raw almond butter and Jay Robb Chocolate protein powder. So, so good. I also like the idea of flattening them into the shape of a cookie so you can pretend you're actually eating a Samoa too. Thanks for the inspiration! xo